Conversation Between Valshar and NightshadeXX

I read your message to Sunshine and it touches me.

I would like to know more about your relationship with her....helps me put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Did I ever email you the detailed story of how I came to know her? If not, I would be happy to send it to you...maybe it can give you more information about who she was from my perspective.

If you would like me to, let me know and I would be happy to send it over.

Just email me at aserogoth@hotmail.com

Part of what I am curious about is what she wanted to do with you....what things did she promise to you?

I am simply curious to know if what she wanted with you was somehow radically different than what she wanted from me.

I am not jealous in the least....I am glad that she found something within both of us that made her happy.

I hope that the next six months are better for you.

-Tony

Thank you for asking. I am doing very well, actually. I have been working on making my marriage better. Sunshine/Misty made me realize that not all was well in my relationship with my wife. Despite that, the fact is that my wife is vanilla and I still desire THIS. I am not sure how I will ever sort that part of my life out. Next month, I will be backpacking the 220 mile John Muir Trail with some friends. Going to be an epic adventure. I am going to be taking Misty's final letter with mean and I will leave it at the top of Mt. Whitney, which is the end of the John Muir Trail and the highest peak in the continental United States. In memory of her. I like to think that she is with me when I am on the trail and that she can share my adventures with me.

I agree...

As far as the last six months, it was an absolute disaster. But, I will not dwell on that.

Welcome back and thank you for dropping by to say hello. Not really a question of which one of us was closer to her. That we both remember her fondly is what matters. Hope you had some fun adventures while you were away.

I've returned after a six month hiatus, pleased to see her profile still alive and well tended. I hope you are coming to peace with everything in your life and learning to move on. I've left her a message, in the hope that it finds a way to reach her. Again, thank you for having cared for her in the final months of her living. I live much closer, yet you were the closest to her of all.

I, like you, wish I'd gotten to meet her. We had a number of things in common, but mostly, even if we'd just had a chance to sit and have dinner and talk. Once she opened up, she was a delight to just talk with!

I will never forget her. I feel that we can continue to honor her in this way and, even if only a little, we will keep her alive in that way, but without the pain and suffering I know she was dealing with. Her warmth and grace will be with us as long as we keep her memory alive. That, I believe, she would like.

Farewell to one who touched us both, but never goodbye. We will meet her again in the next cycle.

I can not tell you how grateful I am for you sharing with me the relationship you had with Sunshine. It is nice to see that she had a positive attitude all the time with you.....that she was happy when she was talking to you. So much about her life and past should have given her little reason to be so positive. I count myself extremely lucky to have known her for the short time that we had, which was a little over a year. When I first met her through a mutual friend, she told me that she was a mute and that I would have to learn sign language if I wanted to ever meet with her in person. She did so much to push people away, but somehow....over time and with humor, I managed to earn her trust. And somewhere along the way, I earned her love. So many regrets....that she died, that we never met in person...so many. I wished that she had met you in person....as you were in the same state as her. I really had no chance to meet her in real life and it would have been nice if she found some measure of happiness in your arms. Yes, she touched my life profoundly....I miss her terribly.

Actually, I met Sunshine here, then talked with her a fair bit outside of here, on Yahoo. We had talked about a number of things, including meeting at some point, but she never said anything about cancer...or about being sick in any way, for that matter. We never got to meet, unfortunately, but one thing about her that stands out is her constant positive attitude. Any time I talked with her, she seemed happy. That, these days, is a rare gift.

We had lost contact back in August or so, and I regret not having tried harder to stay in touch with her. I am very happy that she found someone who cared about her. That was a topic of several of our conversations, from both ends, actually. I don't know how long shewas with you, but one thing I'm certain of is that there is no way that she didn't touch your life and heart in a very positive way.

Thank you for being there and making her last time, in this realm, happy. It means a lot to me to know that she was happy.

You are welcome....she had few friends and when I saw that you were one of them, I thought that you should know. If you don't mind me asking....how did you know her? I am not jealous at all, merely trying to piece together the bits of the puzzle that Sunshine was.

Thank you for telling me. I wondered why I hadn't heard from her in so long.

She was a wonderful lady and I will miss her presence and conversation.