I am having some trouble

I am a switch,and I have posted a ad looking for an online Master. I talk with them on my messenger,but I am always saying I have stuff to do.I make up some thing so I don't have to talk with them.I like my control way too much.so when I am told to do things,I tell them I am doing it,but I am really listening to music or playing a video game.And I even make myself appear offline on my mesenger so that way I don't have to talk with them.I am beginning to think that maybe when I 1st came here I was a switch,but now I am going full Domme now.But what do I do now,how do I tell ppl of my change of heart.Do I write a post under my ad and say that I am no longer looking or wanting a Master?

Thanks
Huggs and Kisses

Just tell people. Its what I did. I used to switch but found I was no good as a Dom. So now I am a sub. No one particularly minds and I am sure none of the prospective Masters will mind too much.

So, does this mean you are now looking for a sub? :)

Or just stop replying to anyone who may want to be your Master by telling them you no longer have the desire to serve, you want to be served.

Erhm, not trying to offend, but you sound a bit insecure and avoid-y for a dom(me).

As for your question, if you're not into submitting (any more), don't and be clear about it. If you want people to know, just post you've tried subbing and didn't take to it. Thanking respondees for the interest is always nice. :)

Cream...

You have been all over the board, in more ways then one since coming here. Perhaps you need to back away entirely, take a hard look at your life and what your goals are and then come back and try to decide how or even IF you fit into this type of life. You may just prefer to be a bottom or a top vs. a sub or a Domme. Nothing wrong with that but you need to decide for you, no one else can make that decision.

Honestly though, the behavior you describe above would concern me from a subbie stand point. If you can't be honest with a Dom you are interested or not interested in then how can any sub trust you? And if you can't make decisions on how your life is to run how can others trust you to make decisions for them and their lives? You need to sort out YOU first before trying to involve others.

^

try changing any profiles, edit posts or even ask the mod if they may be removed,you could try and apologise/explain but its probably a bit pointless now admitting to any Doms you've spoken with that you've changed your mind, i suspect they'll have given up on you (no offence) they'll have got the message at least i would imagine any sensible and serious Dom will have.

if your a bit unsure about the Domme 'role' too then be honest in profiles,posts and messages think seriously about what you actually do want and if you come to the conclusion that it is what you want then go slowly.

i have to say im with just_annie on this and would be very uncomfortable and not very confident with someone who didnt appear to be confident and comfortable with themelves and respect other Doms.

Thank you all so much for what you have said and I will take it to heart,maybe I need to take a break for a bit.So maybe I will just come in here top talk with my friends and nothing more.I need to get to know myself again.Alot has changed over the last year with me.

Thanks

Just write a post under your ad saying - sorry the position of Master has already been filled - then give me a call and we'll work on your idleness problem.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MsCream

Thank you all so much for what you have said and I will take it to heart,maybe I need to take a break for a bit.So maybe I will just come in here top talk with my friends and nothing more.I need to get to know myself again.Alot has changed over the last year with me.

Thanks

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Very well done. I see so much advice (of all sorts, good and bad) given on boards, and so little even seriously considered (whether it is taken or not). Well done for seriously considering what others told you in an attempt to help, and responding with thought, rather than responding with emotion (which happens far too often, speaking of people generally).

And one more thing to consider, subs can take up more of your time and attention than dom/mes. If you feel your life is constrained by the demands of obeying a dominant, you might consider the rather large(r) commitment of taking on a sub.

As mentioned above, you miht be more suited to a top or bottom role, someone who likes the trappings of bdsm play without the D/s commitments.

MsCream, this is a little removed from the conversation timewise, but I'm new here and this is the first time I read your thread.

Maybe GS42 came closest: "you sound a bit insecure and avoid-y." You may be having trouble trusting. If there is no trust between two people, there can't be a relationship. And that goes the same for husband and wife or Dom/me and sub.

Slow down, take a step back and ask yourself if you are ready for a relationship. For some people it takes a little longer to get into it. Love at first sight, or love at first smack works well in stories but is less common in real life if you want something that is going to last.

You will probably feel more comfortable if you get to know your potential partner better. And this is if you are looking at a relationship from a top or bottom position (pun intended).