Just words?

Hello everyone I was wondering of all you subies and slaves out there how much of a variation in the words that turn you on are there. What words get you going what words stop you cold or is it not even the words at all but who it is coming from, could they be reading a stereo installation manual for all you care?

For me I find it is just that I have problems especially with some verbal humiliation possibly because I was verbally abused for most of my childhood from a parent and a most people I was around. I have problems seeing the appeal in someone cursing at you. However if a Dom/me was to tell me what they are going to do or as I like to hear the most that they will be doing whatever they want.

I love verbal humiliation, so there are a ton of words that get me turned on :-P I used to have D/s sex with little to no decent verbal humiliation and I enjoyed the experiences much much much less. What's the appeal of it, you ask? What's the appeal in any type of humiliation? There is a masochism there. What is the appeal of getting the shit beat out of you? It's just a preference.

Anyway... so I can't give any specific example of the words in particular, because there is a large variety. Basically, I like in-depth verbal degredation and abuse. And no... if He was just reading a stereo manual it would certainly not have the same effect :-P

Without any pretension, describing only my feelings, words are very important. Extremely important in online play. In the thread "Why slut?" many explained how offended they feel if called "slut" by people who have no right to do so. I fully admit they are right, they have their human dignity and it can't be ignored. But I must say that if i am called "slut", even if by a stranger, I feel otherwise. I feel that the rigid forms are transcended and we entered an intimacy where I am naked, ashamed, exposed to the other's whims and whip. This arouses me. Being called "little one" curiously has the same effect but much more strongly. So an abusive word may work like a tender word. The common element is the transgression of the limits of formalities, entering intimacy.

In real life I have only one BDSM relationship, with my girlfriend Lila. She speaks always tenderly, never using degrading words. But she likes mockery. And I love her mockery very much. She has her indescribably sweet way of mocking me while I am suffering. For example, "How do your knees feel, my dear?", when she makes me kneel on rice. And me replying: "Fine, thanks, dear", when they hurt like hell. But I think it is only Lila whose mockery touches me as sweet. It is not the words but the person, in this case. :)

A humble thank for your kind attention.

For me, the turn on is words and phrases that only he can use and get away with, words that define his sole proprietorship over me: being called his slut, his naughty little girl, things like that. All those things are states of being only for my Dom, and that makes them exclusive and special instead of degrading.

Being humiliated by being called stupid or worthless or names in a similar vein hold no draw for me whatsoever. Humiliation like that doesn't even have a vestige of truth, it's simply mean and does nothing for me.

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Originally Posted by DowntownAmber

Being humiliated by being called stupid or worthless or names in a similar vein hold no draw for me whatsoever. Humiliation like that doesn't even have a vestige of truth, it's simply mean and does nothing for me.

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Awww.... DA, I LOVE being called stupid and worthless! :-P I think words like that help with dehumanization and feeling like an object. I love to feel like property, only an object owned by my Master for His amusement.

And in terms of vestiges of truth- if you need to feel some truth behind a statement for it to be more powerful- I think it is possible with these types of words. For instance, the word "stupid", besides the general connotation, if I really need to feel some truth behind it I will think of how stupid it is considered, as a woman, to stay with a man that beats and degrades you. Often with enough abuse and humiliation of that kind combined, with my thoughts about its vestiges of truth- I can be brought to tears. Delicious.

words?

they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I for One.. prefer the thousand words. I would much rather read the description and have My imagination fill in the gaps, rather then an explicit photo. Shrugs, but hey, thats just Me.

more to the point though, words can be very powerful. They can make one soar, or make them crash and burn. The use of derogatory terms, can do both. The trick is NOT to have a Dom simply use them, without first understanding the other. To understand when.................calling her a bitch in heat (for example) would make her soar.... vs... when it would make her crash....


That basic understanding... is called a foundationi and is required of any relationship. Is it not?


-Odysseus

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Originally Posted by yama

In real life I have only one BDSM relationship, with my girlfriend Lila. She speaks always tenderly, never using degrading words. But she likes mockery. And I love her mockery very much. She has her indescribably sweet way of mocking me while I am suffering. For example, "How do your knees feel, my dear?", when she makes me kneel on rice. And me replying: "Fine, thanks, dear", when they hurt like hell. But I think it is only Lila whose mockery touches me as sweet. It is not the words but the person, in this case. :)

A humble thank for your kind attention.

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Okay, that's hot. I like to do that too- saying "oh, you poor dear" >:)

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Originally Posted by Lisais mine

Okay, that's hot. I like to do that too - saying "oh, you poor dear" :)

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And does your girl enjoy it, Sir? Mockery can be more devastating
than the pain itself or the offensive names. I think the personal
element is very important here - as it is shown in other posts
of this excellent thread. :wave:

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Originally Posted by yama

And does your girl enjoy it, Sir? Mockery can be more devastating
than the pain itself or the offensive names. I think the personal
element is very important here - as it is shown in other posts
of this excellent thread. :wave:

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yeah- she says it's her favorite.

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Originally Posted by Lisais mine

yeah- she says it's her favorite.

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Just like Lila and me. Thank you, Sir.

:wave:

What words get me going....hmmmm. 'girl' is a nice word. 'slut' is so very yummy at certain heated times (like when my body is crying out for an orgasm...and I'm not allowed to beg). 'bitch' even gets me at the right moment.

None of these words feel humiliating to me. They are freeing in a way - permission to be my most primal self.

Humiliating words would be things like 'skin-and-bones', 'old', 'ugly', 'worthless'... Those types of degrading words would hurt. Not in a good way. I often wonder why. I've come to the conclusion that it's pride. I'm proud to be a submissive. I take pride in pleasing my Owner and in being compliant. The objectification aspect of submitting that I find the most satisfying is being His toy. His plaything. As such, I need to feel beautiful and proud.

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Originally Posted by Veralynne

Awww.... DA, I LOVE being called stupid and worthless! :-P I think words like that help with dehumanization and feeling like an object. I love to feel like property, only an object owned by my Master for His amusement.

And in terms of vestiges of truth- if you need to feel some truth behind a statement for it to be more powerful- I think it is possible with these types of words. For instance, the word "stupid", besides the general connotation, if I really need to feel some truth behind it I will think of how stupid it is considered, as a woman, to stay with a man that beats and degrades you. Often with enough abuse and humiliation of that kind combined, with my thoughts about its vestiges of truth- I can be brought to tears. Delicious.

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Just another case of "to each his own." If a Dom were to call me stupid, for example, I would be inclined to pause mid-scene, raise an eyebrow, and start giggling hysterically while pointing out my SAT score at the very least. I just need to dabble in reality, I suppose.

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Originally Posted by DowntownAmber

Just another case of "to each his own." If a Dom were to call me stupid, for example, I would be inclined to pause mid-scene, raise an eyebrow, and start giggling hysterically while pointing out my SAT score at the very least. I just need to dabble in reality, I suppose.

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I'm totally with you on this one! I'm not stupid or dumb or worthless or any such adjective & saying that I am would just piss me off. Now there are a very select few guys who can get away with calling me a slut because for them, well, I'll be one & very happily. It's not humiliating when it's true :D . But I'd never take it from anyone else.

"but who it is coming from, could they be reading a stereo installation manual for all you care?"

*laughs* That was very nicely put. It is like that for me. What is ok or a turn-on from a special person could easily get someone else´s nose broken if they tried to talk to me like that.

It all depends on the situation, the receiver and the giver.
Words are words, and can be powerful both negatively and positively in certain situations.
No submissive wants to be called a worthless whore, or a stupid cunt by just anyone. That is more akin to bullying and disrespect.
Verbal humiliation is more of an erotic type of play and used between consenting adults.

Some like it and some don't. Some thrive on it, others cannot tolerate it.

I love verbal humiliation play. I enjoy being degraded, humiliated and lowered to the point of being an object.
I am not able to just play with anyone this way, I need to know someone well enough to be comfortable and at ease.
If I consent to play with verbal humiliation, then no holds barred. If I don't consent to it, then don't even try it, I won't respond nicely.

I enjoy pretty much all types of verbal humiliation, so whore, cunt, worthless, garbage, stupid etc... can send me into whatever subspace humiliation junkies go to.

I have never had the word stupid used on me, and I'm on the fence as to whether or not I would enjoy it. I'm sure though it wouldn't bother me much as my main objective is to be completely objectified.
I don't have to hang a bunch of diplomas on the wall, to remind everyone I'm not stupid, I already know that I'm smart, and am capable of making it in the world on my own.
So for that brief moment in play, that is where I want to be, verbally brought down a notch.

As for normal everyday conversations, he'll usually use my name, when he's in Dom mode, it's usually whore, cunt, or slut.

"I'm very proud of you" my god, i hardly ever hear that but every inch of my body melts when i finally do hear it. God.

I hardly hear it because if i make ANY noise other than moans or screams of pleasure i get called a 'sook' which burns right through me because i know no other girl he's had takes anywhere NEAR as much as i do, but it still hurts because i try so so hard to make him proud of me.

for him he loves me telling him where to cum before he asks me. He'll almost loose it if i beat him to asking and say "blow all over my tongue ring" and "will you help me lick it all up like your good little girl?" but if for him, if i call him a girl he gets so mad. I use it to my advantage when i really want a beating, so instead of asking for a spanking i'll say "you fucking girl" "even -i- can fuck harder than the, you girl" "is that all you've got"... then i'll have to prepare to get very hurt but it's worth it. lol

this girl agrees- words are very powerful. for her, it is not so much the actual word as the tone He uses..
she apologises as it may not make sense to all of t/Those in the Forum- some have only written words.

For me, I've had both online and RL experience with my Master and as for just words alone. Well. Some phrases can take me to the level of 'His slut' in a matter of seconds such as 'Whose dirty little whore are you?' Sometimes he would greet me with that phrase when I first signed on IM and I was instantly in the perfect mindset for hours of play. On the flip side when he calls me a slave it stops me cold because, for me, that words is very 'cold' whether I'm reading it on his IM or hearing Him say it in his most seductive voice. It makes me feel absolutely unimportant and like nothing more then a mildly amusing toy. I'll admit it I enjoy feeling important to me Master.

But the tone, now that's a whole other story. When I'm in the right mindset, he can talk about the most ordinary things and my mind will pick out key words and translate them into intensely erotic meanings. Master sometime laughs at me for being able to think naughty about mundane things. I'm not sure if a stereo manual would do it though as long involved direction with bunches of technical words tend to make my eyes glaze over. lol.

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it makes me feel absolutely unimportant and like nothing more then a mildly amusing toy

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i actually like being called a toy. i absolutely loved it when my ex called me his toy.

*nods* Toy I don't mind, I like everything that He's called me so far except Slave.