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Alright so, I'm a total submissive, and I've come to learn that a vanilla relationship dose not work for me,
Problem is?
The boyfriend I have doesn't know a thing about BDSM.
I've been training him because leaving him would not work.
So, why am I posting this here?
Because I need some help, I need a Dom to 'train' my Dom, just to give him some pointers, has potential, he just needs a little help.
Give him some of the stories you like to read in the library and tell him - I wish that was me to give him hints.
IF, and this is a big if, he happens to be inclined to actually be a Dominant. He has to want it for himself. Not because he's doing it to please you. For the first little while he'll do it for you. Then grow tired of it, and stop. If he wants to do it for himself, because he actually enjoys it growing into yourself can take years to accomplish. So be patient.
Dear KC,
First, _ID_ is certainly correct: he needs to want to be (a) a dom and (b) your dom. If he's not excited by the prospect, if he's not compelled by the prospect, it is likely that he will simply go through the motions until someone with tastes more to his liking comes along. This implies a pretty pointed conversation in the near future. Assuming that you receive something more than a polite "yeah, okay, I guess so," then . . .
Second, consider scheduling a series of movie nights featuring non-pornographic d/s flicks. I don't object to porn, but it's a poor place to start. Start with The Secretary (2002, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal). Consider Nine-and-a-Half Weeks (1986, starring Kim Basinger). Other folks will surely have other ideas. If you don't experience the overwhelming desire to plunk your head in his lap, and he doesn't keep it there, you might be off-target.
Third, consider reading aloud to him from longer stories or novellas posted here. Give him a ruler (or paint-stirring stick), with the understanding that you're hoping for a bit of "encouragement" when you stumble or mispronounce a word.
Fourth, consider a sort of "couples membership" here. Develop friendships with some of the other subs, first. When he signs up, I'm sure they'll offer him some . . . uhh, properly nuanced greetings that might empower him to explore further. Ask him to post an inquiry to the appropriate forum, or guide him toward PM-ing a more experienced dom/me. Many of the folks here, though undeniably assertive in their interpersonal relations, are very caring folks who would go out of their way to help.
For what it's worth,
S.