Going without - i need some help!

i don't get to see my Master very often, especially during the summer. It's so hard, it feels like my thoughts are all just running wild, and i do things that i never want to do, because i know they'll disappoint Him.

The things i am talking about include self harm and just general things that i know he wouldn't like. i hate it, i just find myself doing them and not being able to stop. i need him and he's not there.

i need some help from anyone who can offer it. How can i get over this and just be good, without having to be on a short leash all the time?

As i said, ANY help would be very much appreciated.

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The things i am talking about include self harm and just general things that i know he wouldn't like. i hate it, i just find myself doing them and not being able to stop. i need him and he's not there.


If you find yourself doing self harm it ccould be an indicator of another serious problem such as depression. It could be casued by the anxiety of seperation or other issues. Few questionbs to ask. Do you ahve a history of self harm? What am I thinking wqhen I am doing thing. Try to determine if your consciously doing it becasue your bored sad lonely or are acting out to get attention when he returns even if it is negative.

Since you are doing self harm i wwould sugest seeing a medical doctor and or a counselor. They are a varoiety of professionals who are kink friendly. Once you have done tgat.

Few more things to try. Do you have freidns or do you spend your time alone. Try getting out and socializing. Next ask your Master toassign you tasks to do to help keepo you occupied. Learn a hobby such as leatherwork and make toys to be used on yourself. If you live near an area with a munch or rl scene grooup ask his permission to attend their functions and get to konw memberts. the support of others both online and rl may be a big helkp to you.

Lastly if none of this seems to work for you, ask you Master if he would rind or allow you to seek a Master to supoerivse you with in his guidleines while he is away. This can create issues such as divided loyaoties so I reccomend it only as a last resort.

If you have any more questions or need some private information such as on how to contact a doc in your area feel free to e-mail me at master_kyrk1@yahoo.com.

As with any issue though you should always discuss it with your Master seek his advice and opinon that is what we are there for even when we are not close by.

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Originally Posted by jadeslave

The things i am talking about include self harm and just general things that i know he wouldn't like. i hate it, i just find myself doing them and not being able to stop. i need him and he's not there.

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I would recommend seeing a counselor as soon as you possibly can. This statement alone is indicative of numerous problem in your personal life, not the least of which appears to be a severe lack of self-esteem. A counselor or therapist can help you with that. Just be sure and find one that's kink-friendly.

Remember, BDSM is not therapy, nor is it even a good substitue for therapy. If something is broken in your life, then I always suggest fixing it BEFORE entering into a relationship, because the relationship itself isn't going to fix it. You have to do that yourself.

I would suggest finding a hobby or exercising.