I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMPUTERS

Aesop,
I have just flagellated myself thoroughly with large "stupid stick"

I logged out and then tried to get back onto the site-as an Unregistered. Guess what-I couldn't get in so my secret identity is safe!!!

the following poem is therefore even more appropriate-here you are:

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMPUTERS…
I logged onto my computer and dialled my local server
At last I thought I’m surfing, I have raised the nerve!
The home page bit was easy with headline news and sales
But when I got more adventurous, things started to go off the rails.
I like to watch television but didn’t have a recent guide,
So I typed “TV” that seemed right to me and clicked my mouse to start the ride.
You can imagine my consternation when I didn’t get a television listing.
Just lots of things involving rings and a curious habit called fisting.
Well, I’ve seen some things in my lifetime, but this site had me beat.
Who did what to whom? I didn’t think there was room-For that, in there, complete.
It was time to make positive progress so I tried another search.
My garden needed new trees, so I thought I’d seize the chance to find a new Birch.
In hindsight you can forgive my ignorance as in experience I was lacking
You can imagine my reaction when I found a load of action involving bottoms and a whole lot of smacking.
Now, I’m a red-blooded male and I like to ogle prime totty,
But, 30 year-old schoolgirls with ribbons and curls, blue knickers and a bright red botty?
By now I was quite despairing of finding what I wanted-I thought
“I’ve past the news and book reviews, perhaps I can find the sport.”
Its golf that holds my attention so I guessed that could be some fun.
Envisaging Tiger Woods delivering the goods I typed in “hole in one”
YES! Alright now I can see it! The idea seems so stupid!
I got the Birds and the Bees, people on their knees shooting things but none of them Cupid.
The moral of this story is to know just what you’re doing
With a search engine list and a strong right wrist and many hours of very strange viewing!

I wrote a poem for Texan that I said I'd written on
a single grain of sand. What a really silly con.

Sincere aplogoies to folk from Texas. You seemed to fit in poem.