punishment?

Hi All,

I am a relatively new dominant and Myself and my submissive have recently begun this exciting type of relationship. Everything is progressing great however we have hit a small snag in that I try to have punishments fit any indiscretions. My Submissive being the pain slut that she is, has began to enjoy corpral punishment more and more.

Normally I am able to make a punishment fit the crime, however the new task I have set is a bit complicated. Slave has to told she must give up smoking. She has indicated that she wishes to do so, however feels she has no real fear of punishment.

I have instigated a program of positive reinforcement, using rewards as much as possible, but I do need a counter side.

So any suggestions a fitting punishment for this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.

Hello Macroslut, welcome to the forms. There is a current thread on how to punish a masochist.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6222

However I think your looking to make your submissive feel the pain of smoking when she agreed to obey your order not to. I have some experience with this particular activity. What I learned was that you will need to have complete control over her for a period of about 2 weeks, until her system is completely free of the toxic requirement of nicotine. If you are not able to maintain that, she may very well sneak a smoke in. The need for a smoke can be that overwhelming.

To the point of your question about making the punishment fit the crime. Smoking usually makes it hard for a person to breathe. Once they quit smoking they find they are able to breathe easier during times of increased physical activity, such as running for example.

If your submissive is in relatively good health, you could start a mild exercise program for her. Smoking would induce its own punishment, since when not smoking she would be able to do the exercises with fairly little trouble, and when she does smoke, it would be that much more difficult to complete the very same exercise routine.

The pain she needs to feel as punishment must not be one that induces pleasure, as the paddle or whip can do for someone who enjoys pain. Not too many people enjoy the crushing effect of not being able to breathe when it is not part of a play scene.

Therefore the effects of smoking should be felt when she is smoking, and would not be effected by them when she is not smoking.

I hope this helps.

V/R
ID

Agreeing with everything which ID has said.

I do wonder if this is a complicated scenario, she says speaking from no experience of either having given up smoking or directly helping anyone do so.

As I understand it, giving up smoking can be a very stressful experience, and as a sub I also find punishment to be stressful. I am sure that if I was trying to give up smoking a punishment would serve to push me back to having another cigarette.

This does not mean that a punishment is not the right way to go, but as ID said, you do need to have complete control over here, and make sure you give her even more aftercare than usual after a punishment.

...and whilst you might not be able to use spanking etc as punishment, a regular time spent over your knee could be the perfect encouragement to persevere.

cariad

Well here's a view from the other side of the fence- I just received a lovely thank you from a friend who was the second person I've helped give up smoking this year.

I just asked her to give up, & also asked her to let me know if she started again.

The same worked for me with coffee- she said she's suffered enough herself & asked me to give that up. :32:

I personally wouldn't use punishment- but then I don't believe in it anyway on the whole. In my experience the more you punish the less effective the punishment will be. When you really care for someone, if they say those dreaded words 'I'm disappointed in you' - that can hurt more than anything.


Tojo

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Macroslut

Normally I am able to make a punishment fit the crime, however the new task I have set is a bit complicated. Slave has to told she must give up smoking. She has indicated that she wishes to do so, however feels she has no real fear of punishment.

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I hate to admit it it, but I gave up smoking more than once. My final triumph came when I replaced it with another activity, running. Now I'm an epinephren junkie. Maybe a non-physical pain punishment, like orgasm denial would be a suitable substitute:bondage:

That would also give you a tremendous range of rewards available. From manipulating without orgasm - terrible - to multiple orgasms - heavenly. :)

WOW Tojo

'I am disappointed in you'

You are right the power of just words should never be underestimated - my own mental punishment is so much harder than anything physical could ever be.

Macroslut - just one subs opinion

Hope you find something that works for you both ~smiles~ minx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tojo

I personally wouldn't use punishment- but then I don't believe in it anyway on the whole. In my experience the more you punish the less effective the punishment will be. When you really care for someone, if they say those dreaded words 'I'm disappointed in you' - that can hurt more than anything.
Tojo

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What a great idea! as I only really needed a counter side to the positive reinforcement that sounds like a plan to me, I am only worried it may be quite a crushing thing while trying to give up something so addictive and could possibly see several goes at such a demand.

will definitely pick up the suggestion from cariad :rolleyes: that would be alovely addition.

Cheers

This is another subbie's opinion. i have to agree with Tojo and suchaminx, when i hear 'i am disappointed in you', that's it for me. i never repeat the bad behaviour again.

To hear those words hurts more than any corporal punishment, for me anyway.

Good luck to you both.

I often feel guilty just knowing that i have displeased my Master, for me the internal "punishment" is far worse than anything He could ever do.

Well duh... and no insult intended.

If the lady is a pain slut, "beat" her each and every day she goes without smoking. It's so much easier when you replace the vice with something pleasurable.

Verbal and menial disciplines, as many suggested, are all you should attempt for misbehavior. Cum denial, while fun, is stressful. I'd suggest not doing anything stressful while she is withdrawing from nicotine.

Plenty of orgasms for correct behavior will keep her mind off of things... and give her something nice to suck on as an after sex activity...

^ um... seriously. I'm serious.
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