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A small, clear, glass heart
Allowed to fall to the earth
Dust blows on the wind
A droplet perches
Upon a withering leaf
Both destined to fall
Alone, I wander
Eyes scan to the horizon
And so, my heart burns
Gently falling snow
Covers the ashes of fall
Reborn is the land
New sprouts rip the earth
Pain is needed for rebirth
Order of the world
Colourful flowers
Spread out amongst the chaos
Harmony achieved
Ah, I love the intensity and discipline of this form! There's a word I'm searching for to describe your style - I can't get it - you are always distant, an observer, there is a sense of being resigned to inevitability, yet regret lingers. Your signature I especially like. No, like is the wrong word - feel, then.
Are there any other haiku forms/patterns?
I know very little really about the technical end of what makes haiku, haiku. If I were to evaulate myself I'd say I am an interested amateur, but as with all my writing I have no formal training beyond whatever they taught me in school. Aside from the 5-7-5 format (which, if one wants to *really* get technical, isn't quite something that properly translates from the Japanese to western alphabet), I know "real" haiku is supposed to deal with nature in some way, or the place of humans in relation to nature... I think in terms of "serious" haiku that there's more to the format than it generally gets credit for. I'm not usually one for overly strucured poetry. Most of what I write is intentionally very free versed, and raw. But the structure of haiku, for whatever reason, appeals to me much more so than most structured poetry. I'm not even sure if my collecting several verses together as I've done here to essentially build a larger piece is even technically "correct".
As with most things Japanese, there's a certain philosophy that is supposed to accompany the act. I won't pretend to truly have an understanding of it on that level. Though I find Japan, as a culture, quite interesting.
When I do write poetry, what I go after is a feeling or an emotion... I find the short length of haiku a challenging model for that, and I like writing them very much.
That got a lot longer than I intended and I don't know if I even answered the question, but there it is. :)
Thanks, TW, I appreciate the answer. I know my parents got quite into haiku writing a few years back, encouraged or at least inspired by conversation with some Japanese friends; I think I shall enquire more of them, they are usually pretty thorough about researching things! Also will ask a Japanese friend of mine who is a student of the tea ceremony, which covers just about everthing to do with traditional Japanese art and culture (not just making tea!). Will let you know what I learn if you are interested? (and no, I do not believe you are supposed to join them together, but it works well!)
I too got quite caught up with Haiku several years ago and spent a considerable amount of time trying to gain enough understanding of the japanese style and how to translate it to a western language and culture. I never did quite gain the skill to do it. The whole eastern way of thinking tends to be so different and the language so different that I am not sure that a true rendering of the style can be done in english.
However, I still love the form. ANd TW, yours a great. They somehow manage to convey a sense of the japanese from my understanding of what it should be. Yet it is not so foreign in concept and allusion that a western mind cannot see what is being said.
Good Job!
"Will let you know what I learn if you are interested? "
Certainly, if you feel like sharing I say go right ahead. I'm sure there must be a few that would be interested in learning more.
I was pretty sure that putting several pieces wasn't "proper" for haiku, but eh, I still like this piece. As TheDeSade's signature says "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them". Sounds about right to me. :)
I love haikus myself and have a lot of write ups about this but will shorten to a brief recap. There are varying kinds of haiku.
As a general rule a classical Japanese haiku:
1. consists of 17 Japanese syllables (5-7-5)
2. contains at least some reference to nature (other than human nature)
3. refers to a particular event (i.e., it is not a generalization)
4. presents that event as happening now – not in the past
gardenia blossom
heady fluted fragrance
engulfs humid air
but many are being born, to other structures
beyond the dark
where I disrobe
an iris in bloom
(Katsura Nobuko)
"A 'Western Haiku' need not concern itself with seventeen syllables since Western Languages cannot adapt themselves to the fluid syllabillic Japanese and therefore is accepted as 15 or less syllables.
A big fat flake
of snow
Falling all alone
(Jack Kerouac)
The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.
(Ezra Pound)
Lily:
out of the water . . .
out of itself.
(Nicholas Virgilio)
Another example of a successful departure from a three line haiku is Takayanagi Shigenobu's haiku, which is basically a concrete haiku:
in a mountain range's
creases
hear
ing
clear
ly
the
bur
ied
ear
s
(Takayanagi Shigenobu)
poems of love and erotica were written in the more ancient tanka form, a Japanese approximate 5 lined poem of 31 Japanese syllables.
in your panties
slightly pulled down
a crisp fallen leaf
that first time
my middle-finger slipped into
your warm wet cleft
Hiroaki Sato
Senryu is defined as: "1: A Japanese poem structurally similar to the Japanese haiku but primarily concerned with human nature; often humorous or satiric and can be. compressed into something less than 17 syllables. Senryu is the same as haiku except, instead of dealing with Nature, it is specifically about human nature and human relationships and is often humorous."
naked
her gown
on the floor
the zappai: "In Japanese poetry, zappai includes all types of seventeen syllable poems that do not have the proper formal or technical characteristics of haiku…"
Night begins to gather between her breasts
George Swede
to better explain by example
haiku: Bass
picking bugs
off the moon
Nicholas A. Virgilio (2)
senryu: While the guests order,
the table cloth hides his hands -
counting his money.
Clement Hoyt (2)
zappai: Cook it in the can
SPAM, block of cheese, brown sugar
I can't get it out
--Phil and Amy Timberlake (3)
So as you can see there is much freedom in the formatting of a haiku, although the rules in description and acceptance by editors are stringent, to publish or enter competitions, haikus would need to adhere to extreme rules of imaging and how to use this for each different kind of haiku.
hope I have not confused things and I can add more on the actual acceptance of imagery in each haiku as there are rules here also, humanization not being acceptable.
example....Humanization
rain heavy on leaves
already bent boughs strain more
and trees cry their pain
The trees didn't cry, and watching them, try as I might, I never heard them cry. They can't cry: they are trees! As poetic as the thought of crying trees may be, my job as a haiku student is to impart an observation without applying my own emotion or judgement to the haiku. Perhaps a better way to write the haiku would be:
heavy rains
boughs bend in the wet
trees lean
and the readers imagination lets the haiku soar.
shh echoes!