the broken heavens

[WyldWyl]

T like this. But it does feel like there's something missing. Suggestions, comments, criticsms? Help me out here, you lot.

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The mirror of heaven is shattered now,
My own hands cast down the vault of glass
In a thousand thousand shattered shards.

Now what light shines but the transient reflections
of tumbling slivers in empty space
And the reflected echoes of a now-dead star?

I will wrap myself in this cocoon
of discordant light and the prismatic madness of sound
Bound and enraptured in a symphony of broken luminence.

Each whisper of glass will rebuild me
Each scar reshape my flesh, in ways more pleasing
To the pitiless will of the ruthless fates

Until I can heal the myriad scars
Until I can re-ignite the blackened stars
And turn loose the heaven bound within.

[thrall]

HI.......it all about feeling, you feel pain and sadness. This is what i ........feel
when i read your words. Words are where i say my pain, sadness, sorrow, happiness, love, hate, joy, hopes, dreams. It seems we share the same lust for words....use them.

There no right or wrong, only opinion. The whole point is that that it means something to you.......you feel the words, and they move you. That is the whole point.

I like this....thank you for the feeling of your words.....

Kiss and a Hug

Thrall

[Rhabbi]

Wyl,

I like this, it is good.

If you want to know what is missing, the only thing I do not see is tempo. Not being a poet, to me poetry is about tempo, and this lacks it. I am not saying it needs to have it because I am not qualified to judge poetry. I did read it with your question in mind though.

[snowflake]

My head swirls in pain and confusion,
not knowing what to do after this illusion.

Crying and sobbing knowing what i have don to my love,
i just wish the pain flies away on the wings of a dove.

Knowing i have hurt you so,
wondering if i should just go.

But wanting to be with you near,
and try and make the emotions clear.

As to never hurt you again,
as to never hurt you again.

i am so sorry wyld..
i hope one day i can make it up to you..

hugs
snowflake

[WyldWyl]

You just did. Don't let go. I don't want to go through that again.

[snowflake]

Thank you Sir .. but i feel i owe you much more Sir..

I promise i will try never to hurt you again.. cause i don't think i could stand that pain of not being with you again.. it just hurts to much

hugs
snowflake