'k, I've been pondering something. *shocked*

One of my daily 'tasks' is to masturbate to the brink of orgasm at least once a day. No big deal, d'oh...? It's fun, pleasurable, hot...not really the thing that makes you roll your eyes, right? Well, at least some of the time...wrong. *sighs*

It's something that I just don't get about my strangely wired brain, but I've encountered this before: In times where I'm not allowed to touch, I'm constantly horny and would do anything to get some relief...even when I'm on no particular orders, reading this site usually gets me hot. But once I'm ordered to do this...well, the first few times it's great and then life kicks in and I just don't feel like masturbating at all. I don't get it, lol.

Now, I know this isn't about my 'feeling like it', at least that's not all of it. I should be doing it anyway to please my Master...but a few times I didn't. I didn't even try. (which sucks, cause when I do the 'feeling like it' part comes naturally, lol)

I haven't had the chance to talk this over with him yet, but will mention it the next time I write him tonight. I really don't know what causes this, though. It's not like I had a lot of stress or that I feel my daily routines are too much - I love them all and haven't missed anything apart from the masturbation task.

If I had to take a wild guess, maybe it's the missing tension (that denial brings about naturally - and I was on loooong denial before this, grrrr - love to hate it, lol)...maybe I felt that he only assigned me that task for my own pleasure (which I could take or leave)...maybe it's because I miss him so much? I honestly don't know, I'm just running through some possibilities.

Since I've encountered the same issue before, I'm sure there is a pattern somewhere that I just can't put my finger on.

Has anyone encountered a similar problem?