The mighty Oz has spoken... /salute with respect, as always.

I agree with everything that has been said. It is a learning curve for both of you. My sub used her safeword for the first time recently during a phone session. She is a masochist, and she strives to please me. I felt it important to push her to that point prior to her being here with me fulltime, because my real presence makes her want to submit even more. I wanted her to 'say' the word, so that it registered that it's hers to use whenever she needs, for whatever reason. Everything stopped instantly when I heard it, and then we talked about it. Both of us have comfort that it happened, because I trust that she will use it when needed, and she knows that I treat it with the proper respect. And yes, during the 'pushing', it was safe, sane, and consensual and was done with an activity that wouldnt actually hurt her, since i wasnt visually present to gauge the affects. Her nipples are still a little sore