Hi again phantasy_seeker,

Quote Originally Posted by phantasy_seeker
What'd be the point of punishment then if I could disobey and then safeword if I did not like it?
That's a good question. Were you truly being punished? Did the punishment end because you safe worded or did you both reset the situation and you still must pay for some "behavior" by submitting to a penalty from your dom?

Or is this about his will? He wanted you to experience something and you safeworded to avoid that experience?

When adults use the word "punished", we have to be clear about if there is truly some behavior that is being punished between the "oh, I'm naughty - punish me" game.

I need something to deter me, or some way to deter myself. That's what I need to know: how do other submissives keep themselves from taking advantage of this 'control', and truly give it all up?
You've asked two things here. Both good.

One how do you keep from taking advantage of this safeword 'control'? This is where your dom steps in to asks questions like:

Did you just safeword?
Did you mean to do so?
Are you trying to get my attention?
Do you really want me to stop?

If your dom forces you to stop and think about what you are doing, he can retain control of the situation and you can "give" control back to him.

How can you "truly give it all up"?

What exactly are you giving up?
The right to defend yourself?
The right to make decisions?
The right to stop?

Am looking forward to hearing about what you want to accomplish here.

Ruby

PS

Blunt Ruby time.

What'd be the point of punishment then if I could disobey and then safeword if I did not like it?

The point would be to keep yourself from being abused in a manner that you do not want to experience. And as an adult, why should you experience it?

The point would be to keep yourself physically and mentally safe.

I know too many subs who have experienced great physical pain, mental anguish, and who've ended up in the hospital, because there "dom" and I use the term loosely, decided they needed to be punished.

Be safe, know yourself and your needs.

A D/S relationship requires both partners to keep each other safe. The title of dom or sub does not a mind reader make.