More than one sub...

[mina]

I mean absolutely no offense at all, but Aesop, your answers didn’t really clarify much for me. You made some good points about how one-on-one relationships can have similar problems, but it kind of seemed to me like you sorta danced around the main point.

I guess my biggest curiosity with this is, why isn’t one enough? Do you do different things with one sub that you don’t do with the other? Or you just like guiding and showing affection so much you want to do so with more than one person?

Personally, if Master took another sub, I’d be absolutely devastated. I’d feel like I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t satisfy him or have him be happy with just me.

And now I’ve thought of another question. Is the love you feel for your subs different than the love you feel for your wife?

Sorry if any of that seems offensive in any way, I’m just completely curious! Btw this is directed to anyone, not just Aesop.

[Aesop]

One isn't enough because I love more than one. I can't answer it any better than that.

[Jadetiger]

Qmoq,
Very intense subject indeed. I have been in this situation myself but since you asked for successfully relationships I don’t have to commit on my experience in being the online sub who finds her master has gotten another sub since it did not work out. Nor the fact that I am dominant in real life and have subs of my own. By the way I recently say a title Dom/switch and I think that pretty much sums me up.

I can comment on some of the questions you asked. First back ground on my subs, both are male, both are bi curious and both are switches. Mike has been with me for 7 months and he was one of the 2 subs I picked from interviews back in February. Ronnie who I also picked was released 4 months ago. Not because of any issues with Mike but with issues regarding us. I never even let them meet. I was never comfortable enough with our relationship to add a third person in the mix. I have since interviewed again and I am currently spending a lot of time with Jeff. Mike and Jeff have both meet and are anxiously awaiting the time when we will all play together. My relationship with Jeff is only 4 weeks old and unfortunately the horny bastards are just going to have to wait until I am ready. ~grins

For the dom, I’d like to know:
1. Why do you think it’s working, when other similar relationships have failed?
I think it will work because they both want it. I actually have a hard time sharing but since they are really craving this kind of relationship it is making my need to experience a secret desire even more tempting. My profile which they both read stated there would be multiple subs and group play. It is a fantasy they also want to come true.

2. If one of your charges complained, what would you do?
That is one of the reasons I am moving so slow in the first place. I want them to interact in a normal social atmosphere before anything sexual or intense happens. It is really more for me than them. I have to feel and see that they truly like each other as people first before I put them in a situation that may make them feel uncomfortable.

3. Why did you take on a second sub?
HMMM honest answer is I don’t want to have to focus my attentions on one person. The truth is I don’t trust myself not to fall in love. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I do, it just means I am not in love with either of them. Now for the rest of the truth. I have always fantasized about group play. Not just with men but with women as well. I am not promiscuous person. I know some of you are laughing because you don’t believe it. ~grins I have only had sex with my subs even though I interviewed over a 100 men and they all spent to night. See I have get self control and really cold water in the shower. So for me to make the fantasy come true I need to have people around me that I love and care for. So it means making a bdsm family of my own.

Will you think me greedy if I told you I just posted for a real time female sub as well. ~chuckles

4. Do you think either sub might not be totally truthful about having a rival for their affections, because they are worried that they might be the one who is dropped (or equally, because they like the other sub and don’t want to see them hurt)? This includes their response to this thread.

Everything you said is a possibility but it then reflects back on the relationship in general which does not even involve bdsm. Yes I have those fears. I would never drop a sub for not wanting to play with another sub and my subs know they can tell me what and how they feel. But I do fear that maybe they or my self will find out that group play was better as a fantasy. I am sure we will handle it like adults. If it is me that finds group play unappealing then the boys can play together. If one of them fines out they don’t like it then they won’t have too.

5. How would you respond to an ultimatum? Most good doms on this site aren’t the “my way or the highway” kind of chap.
HMMM well the way I look at it they both knew upfront I would have multiple subs. If one gave me an ultimatum then he is free to leave. I don’t force my subs and I don’t let my subs force me either. I have to say it would hurt. I really am very picky about who I let into my life. I become very attached to people and losing them hurts.

6. Do you ever feel as though you can’t spend enough time with each sub? If so, can you clarify question three?
I feel that way all the time but my work takes a huge amount of my time. Both subs know and accept this. I am very blessed in that way.

Hugs, Kisses and Gropes Sweet Q,
Jade