I too write poems sometimes as exercises in form - rarely, I think any good, but this works. I had to do some investigation to understand the form you're using - classic Italian sonnet, I find (having been brought up in the Shakesperian tradition only, I was confused for a while).

I agree with echoes comment. I don't like "igniting a fire that is lust driven" - just feels a bit trite to me, but the rest is good with some nice imagery. Have no helpful suggestion, though...