Suspended

[TheDeSade]

OK guys, lets get this straight. I wouldn't post em here if I didnt expect honest upright and serious criticism. I am still on a learning curve here and I need all the help I can get. You aren't going to offend me and certainly I am not going to get pissed off. You do it for me honestly and with serious good intention and I will do the same for you..OK!

TDS

[Echoes]

OK guys, lets get this straight. I wouldn't post em here if I didnt expect honest upright and serious criticism. I am still on a learning curve here and I need all the help I can get. You aren't going to offend me and certainly I am not going to get pissed off. You do it for me honestly and with serious good intention and I will do the same for you..OK!

TDS

OK!

[Echoes]

Alright TDS, I have mulled and reread this one quite a few times...

technical gliche ecstacies is spelled ecstasies

again the word sensed, where your whole poem was poetic imagery and emotion...this one word told the reader to feel instead of letting them lose themself in the feeling

What kept halting and throwing me off the whole poem was not the ending but one stanza that did not follow suit and rhythm as all the rest did.

The rose caressed with greatest care,
a sudden gasp, followed
then with hints of deep desire.

again I still find some gerunds towards the end taking away from the imagery and even sounding of the poem...if a few can be altered?

I found nothing wrong at all with the last stanza except perhaps to take out one word but

A very insightful, passionate, loving, expressive and devoted poem full of feeling and depth, another desirous dance of two.
Exceptional and beautiful, thank you

softest hugs
~echoes~