About Younger Women

[Morrighan]

Psychologically speaking, and I hope I don't offend you, she could be looking for a father figure, or masculine approval. What's her relationship with her father? If it is a good one, then it could be just one of the situations where age is not a factor--at least in her mind. But if her father is absent, estranged, or their relationship is otherwise bad, I would consider steering clear of a non-platonic relationship. When I was nineteen, I had a few friends (my age) that were going out with much older men--late thirties, early forties--and it was almost always because of a lack of a strong male role model. Girls need their father, and when they don't have him, they often resort to promiscuity and make bad choices in their significant others.

I'm not saying you'd be a bad choice, Drake7 (that you have thought to question this makes her lucky) but it could be a very messy situation for you. If all she wants is a sexual relationship and I were in your shoes, I'd check into her family and then consider it. However, anything more long term, you two may have very different goals. She may want kids--do you? Do you already have them? There's a lot to think about.

Speaking as someone who fits into that 18-24 age gap, those of us that seek out a relationship with this kind of age difference are few and far between, and most do it for the reasons I explained above. Most of us want family and kids, and an older man usually has already been through that, and doesn't want to do it again. You may want to just be there for her as a positive male role model--not necessarily a father figure, but someone who can protect, advise, and support her as a father would. Someone like that would have made a world of difference to the girls I knew a long time ago.

Morrighan

[drake7]

Morrighan said:

Psychologically speaking, and I hope I don't offend you, she could be looking for a father figure, or masculine approval. What's her relationship with her father?

Interestingly enough, it is her mother that is absent. She died about three years ago. Hopefully I am not a mother figure to her.

The relationship she has with her father seems to be a good one, a few "bumps" so to speak, but pretty much as to be expected for a nineteen year old.

Whether or not she may have been attracted to me based on my age is a good point however, I will ask her how old she thought I was when we first met last year. She's very well grounded though- I was surprised she was only 19 since she seems more mature than that.

Asking her where she envisions a relationship going is a good suggestion as well.

Thanks.

[Barton]

Speaking from experience, a relationship with a younger women(mine was eighteen, I was also thirty-eight.) can be a wonderful thing. It will certainly keep you hopping as young women are still deciding who they are and are still very much exploring the world around them. after being with women my age I found in to be a refreshing relationship. As was mentioned previously to you, younger women seem to seek out an older man for their maturity, and
stability(in other words you are a safe person to explore the world with.).
A long lasting relationship, probably not, but worthwhile, definitely.

Good luck,
Barton.

[Xaphan45]

Where do you draw the line? Here in the Bluegrass a girl of 16 has reached the age of consent The is even a movement to have it lowered to 14. It presents several interesting situations for stories

[Barton]

Where do you draw the line? Here in the Bluegrass a girl of 16 has reached the age of consent The is even a movement to have it lowered to 14. It presents several interesting situations for stories

The law is the law. But even so, at sixteen they're still not mentally an adult. Fourteen, thats utterly ridiculous. There is a big difference between a young women and a kid. Eighteen years of existence seems enough time for most people to at least get some sort of a handle on things(including ourselves.). Younger than that seems too much balanced on the side of child rather than adult. Maybe some stories should never be written!
Barton.

[Morrighan]

Never mind stories, changing the age of consent to 14 is utterly ridiculous. As a result of the Supreme Court's legalization of sodomy, ("right to privacy") there is now a court case in the works about a "child's right to privacy". The mother in question found her fourteen year-old daughter in bed with a fifteen year-old boy. The kids told her there was nothing she could do about it and challenged her to call the police. (She did.) If--when--this gets to the supreme court, it will be decided whether or not parents can legally stop their fourteen year-olds from having sex. Beyond ridiculous. I was still screwing up at eighteen, never mind fourteen. And at least at eighteen, I was legally responsible for my mistakes.

Sorry to stage a coup on this thread, but this is one issue that absolutely pushes every single one of my buttons. If anyone wants to debate this, we can take it to another thread.

Morrighan

[abitbent]

Well any relationship can be a risk drake. I just wanted to add one point. I believe that there are two types of poeple in this lifestyle. Those who chose it, and those who have been chosen by it. In other words, D/s is a sexual orientation, and not a choice or fun flavour for some. I like to term those who have this orientation as hardwired. If you find yourself in this category, from my experience, hardwired folk tend to get along better with hardwired folk, and I wonder at such a young age, if this girl knows if she is hardwired or not. If you are a hardwired D/s person, and you come to find out, later in years as the two of you have been together, that she just likes to flavour the relationship with some fun bedroom d/s or her d/s likes were just a curiousity, it could be a very tough time for you both.

It would seem to me, that folks that are a little older, may be gravitating to this lifestyle out of need, and not necessarily out of want, and your chances for a match may be better.

Or... everything i've said is a bunch of crap and she could be the woman of your dreams. LOL Does this help?!?!

Good luck with it.

bent

[Jones, Nikka]

Sorry to stage a coup on this thread, but this is one issue that absolutely pushes every single one of my buttons. If anyone wants to debate this, we can take it to another thread.

Morrighan

There is another thread on this subject somewhere else, Morrighan. I believe is called Age of consent.

Whether or not she may have been attracted to me based on my age is a good point however, I will ask her how old she thought I was when we first met last year. She's very well grounded though- I was surprised she was only 19 since she seems more mature than that.

Asking her where she envisions a relationship going is a good suggestion as well.

I agree drake, age may have not been a factor and the maturity level of each person is probably more important. I was only 18 when I met my boyfriend (he was 8 years older). It seemed a big gap but I never even considered his age when I found myself attracted to him. It was a mental thing. We shared a lot more than an interest in bdsm. Besides, I thought guys my age were so immature!