Finding a True Submissive - How hard can it be?

[ValKyrie]

So to bring it back on track, hopefully, how long did it take everyone to find their partner? Were you looking for a long time or did they just drop from the sky?

Jason

Thank you, Jason for explaining your choice of terms. Too often I have seen battle lines drawn concerning who is "real" and who is not.

It took me three years to find my partner.
I had been looking for a Dominant for part of that time and not searching for anything more than companionship for part of that time.

My sub fell into my lap, all vanilla coated.
We cliqued almost immediately and before too long, his fantasies started to reveal themselves to me. I had been topping women for a while and we decided we could experiment with some activities. Then, this turned into that and I realized why I could never find the Dominant I wanted. I was a Dominant in submissive clothing and finally found not only my partner, but peace.

Prior to these three years, I was involved throughout my adult life with a man who not only was vanilla, but was uncaring, ego centric and controlling, bordering on abusive. To that end, I must say, I have searched my sub for all my life and happy to have found him.

I, too, live an area devoid of any BDSM social scene. We are trying to create more of a scene now, but there are political obstacles. However, I can empathize with your frustration on many levels.

I am curious though. There is a thread on another forum I frequent wherein and aussie is expressing the same concerns. What is it with the land down under? Are they conservative or hiding?

Take care and best wishes,

Valkyrie

[Garmonbozia]

I have no idea what it is about us Aussies. We do seem to be in hiding. In Brisbane there are no BDSM clubs to go to, so you can at least get a head-start in knowing that the people you meet share similar interests.

There is one organisation that I have mentioned before that simply does not allow anyone other than couples to attend their playnights, which is fair enough, but not even to attend their meetings or correspond with their members in any way. I was told quite flatly that I was not welcome until I was part of a committed couple. Needless to say when that happy day does arrive I shall not be contacting them again as this type of narrow-minded people hold no interest for me.

I am sure if someone had the gumption and money to actually start up a regular fetish club it would be quite popular. We used to have a hellfire club that occurred once a month but that has not been heard from for a long time. When it was running it was great, always lots of people there, a lot of tourists but they all had fun and maybe some of them saw something they had never thought of trying before.

I am so happy that you have found your sub Valkyrie. I love to hear these success stories.

Jason

[bambipaige]

Hey ... just thought I'd add a few words of encouragement. I found my Master, after several boyfriends who only wanted submission in the bedroom, in a totally unexpected venue (a local games/hobby shop in my oh-so-small town). I don't think there's any specific formula for finding the right one, but just know there's always hope and it can happen in the weirdest places.