Kishi - Hmmm, capacity vs. tendency, interesting. I would say that I'm not pushy or abrasive, but not a push-over either. I can be easily persuaded though, sometimes I listen to brian's protests a little too well. If as the capacity to be a domme means a willingness and desire to be open-minded, to learn, to grow, and to understand, then that's me. I want to be loving but firm and tend a little towards either a little too loving or a little too firm(read obnoxiously demanding). I know I could use a dose of confidence. I don't like failing him, but if I'm doing what I really want to be doing, is that failing him?

TomofSweden - Do I feel comfortable with a 24/7 slave? Not yet, but I want to be very much or I wouldn't be bouncing ideas around. Does brian feel comfortable? Not yet, but he badly wants to be. I know he feels very vulnerable and very alone, which makes me sad. One thing that occurred to me that might help is defining what would be different and what would be the same. We already have many things that he has no knowledge or control over(money being the biggest). What more would be added? What's missing now?

Vampyres brian and I are very compatible as friends and as lovers, but sometimes I do think we're a bit of a BDSM mismatch. For example, when I switch to sub(rarely anymore), I want to be rewarded, praised, and "be the good girl". Brian when he is sub, wants more and more, deeper and darker, but he knows he can't be fileted and bbq'd in his head, so he's at a cross-purpose. He'll act out wanting attention and that'll turn me off instead of on.

I really do appreciate the feedback. Keep it coming. I want to figure it out and stop the cycle of crashes.

E