i came online just to explore a little. i'd been reading stories in the library forever and never even knew about the forum... i ventured in here several months ago just to try to gain some more knowledge about being submissive. never in a million years did i think i'd be online in a D/s relationship, much less having it lead to real life.

it is true that ANY relationship - regardless if it's vanilla, D/s, has to be built on trust, respect and i think a chemical/physical connection. and that last part is what's missing in online. you can totally connect on such an emotional level online - but if you meet the person in real life and you don't feel that "spark" - what can you do?

i met someone through alt.com locally. he was smart, funny, sexy when online - i had seen a picture of him but when it came to meeting him - let's just say the picture was a few years old. it was such a shock to see how much different he was in real life that i really had a hard time getting past that. i suppose it sounds a little superficial. we met a second time because his online personality was just so much different than his real self that i thought maybe it was just first time jitters. wasn't the case. he was super-Dom online and that didn't translate to real life.

being online has definitely made me more comfortable with my desire to be submissive. it's been a great way to be a "newbie" and find my way through all the questions.

i've met someone here i've been with for almost 6 months. it's mostly online but i've been fortunate enough to meet him and we have another meeting planned soon. and i have to say that the real life meeting was better than anything i could have hoped for. the physical connection definitely matched the emotional connection. i'm very much looking forward to the next encounter...because, as Daes pointed out:

The experiences I’ve been getting has been deliciously eye opening and just exciting and fun. Theres nothing in the online world that can simulate the feeling you have when you are completely blindfolded, gagged, and bound to the point where all you can do is stand spread as you wonder where or when the crop will strike you next.
the issue now is kind of two-fold: maintaining the intensity of this relationship online; and incorporating this in to my real life. i'm single, dating... do i look for vanilla guys with a kinky side? do i try again on alt.com? try a munch? dating 'nilla boys is hard enough... and as you said lily, how do you move past having that momentary kinky good time & try to incorporate this in to your real life? luckily, these are questions i talk to my forum Dom with all the time... hopefully the two of you will work through those issues together.

enough rambling. thanks for the thread lily. it's nice to see you making that transition. and i've enjoyed hearing what others have to say...