How you are in your intimate life may have nothing to do with the "you" that is present in many of your other dealings.

Many of the most incredible and interesting subs I know are very outgoing, sarcastic (translate to quick witted) and assertive in other aspects of their life.

In fact, my sub is all of these things and has many other "un sublike characteristics." However, he is MY sub, not the world's sub and that I can taper his wit and energy, can control his mind and words as well as him physically is part of the turn on for me. And he is a control person in his occupation of many years. As such, he welcomes being able to give over the control and feels liberated by having the structure and limitations I place on him.

So, go with what feels good and just be you. It will all come together in the end.