On honesty and feminism

[Hime]

Hi SS!

Interesting points. I'm also a feminist and a submissive, though I don't think I agree with your whole argument. I think what I find most comforting about the BDSM community as a feminist is the fact that gender doesn't determine whether a person is Dominant or not; it's just based on which way makes them feel more comfortable. Especially being bi, I feel that if I trusted and loved another woman, I could be happy submitting to her the way I do to my Master. (not that I fantasize about Dominant women... very much... per week... )

Basically, I don't think that it's a contradiction for a feminist to believe in doing what makes him or her happy, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

[cheeseburger]

Cutting the crap, feminism is about equality. Both genders are equal. You can go on for days describing how a man and a woman are equal, but what it boils down to is control.

When both (genders) have equal control, i.e. when none 'have' control over the other, they're equal.

Now I know BDSM or D/s play really has nothing to do with gender, but still. When you say you're a feminist - that, by the way, enjoys it when her man dominates her - just sounds a little funny.

It's almost like you agree, in principle, that men and women are equal. But, personally, you enjoy being a little less equal for the night.

Like the big priest guy that went down in flames a while back. He was against gay marriage, gay rights, gay anything, and oh by the way - he was gay.

If you accept some overarching philosophy, such as feminism, it adds to your credibility if you live by it as well as preach it.

Again, this post is not a personal attack on anyone on this message board and I'm not trying to be rude. If you read any of my previous posts, you'll get the picture. No flame wars, please.

[gloombunny]

Cutting the crap, feminism is about equality. Both genders are equal. You can go on for days describing how a man and a woman are equal, but what it boils down to is control.

When both (genders) have equal control, i.e. when none 'have' control over the other, they're equal.

Now I know BDSM or D/s play really has nothing to do with gender, but still. When you say you're a feminist - that, by the way, enjoys it when her man dominates her - just sounds a little funny.

It's almost like you agree, in principle, that men and women are equal. But, personally, you enjoy being a little less equal for the night.

Like the big priest guy that went down in flames a while back. He was against gay marriage, gay rights, gay anything, and oh by the way - he was gay.

If you accept some overarching philosophy, such as feminism, it adds to your credibility if you live by it as well as preach it.

Again, this post is not a personal attack on anyone on this message board and I'm not trying to be rude. If you read any of my previous posts, you'll get the picture. No flame wars, please.

There's a huge difference between living a certain way because you chose it for yourself, and living a certain way because your society forced you into it.

Feminism isn't just about wanting things for onesself. Enjoying M/f or F/m or F/f personally isn't important from the perspective of feminism; what counts is whether you believe that every woman should have the ability to enter into whatever kind of relationship she wants. And every man too, for that matter; despite the name, feminism isn't only about promoting women's rights.

(Of course, this is all for my version of feminism. If you look hard enough you can find people espousing all sorts of ideas and calling them feminist. There are even "feminists" who oppose F/f BDSM on the grounds that it recreates patriarchal power structures in a female relationship. Obviously the word means different things to different people.)