Quote Originally Posted by Warbaby1943 View Post
I have also been told that you can’t be analytical in your thinking when it comes to affairs relating to D/s and specifically to tasks assigned to a submissive when they decide to not follow the rules of that task.

I’ve been told that when you are asked to get to the edge every hour for 12 hours you can’t help but disobey, I took it to mean she had no choice but to disobey an order to not cum.

I also think that if a sub continually is punished for breaking the rules set down by their Top then they may, at least subconsciously, enjoy being punished though they profess vehemently this is not the case.

All this being said, what my believe is, is that at the point of breaking the rule I say the sub has still made a conscious decision to go for the instant gratification and also at that same point made a conscious decision to suffer whatever the punishment may be, knowing full well there will be punishment.

I am told it is the worst feeling in the world to let your Dom/Domme down or disappoint them. So in my way of thinking, since I believe everything can and is analyzed, why are the rules broken? I’m only looking for an explanation I can understand and that does not require me to think it all is based on instant gratification even knowing and understanding how overpowering those feelings can be. If you really want to obey your Dom/Domme I believe it is possible, at least most of the time, to do so.
okay, I know this response will likely make me very unpopular. I am only speaking from my own perspective, and I acknowledge that I am not a typical sub and am more analytical than 90% of the population. However, I disagree with what you have been told Warbaby, and I do believe that many subs are at least subconsciously "choosing" to disobey.

In my own case, the relatively few times I have ever disobeyed, it was a conscious decision. Usually, that was an indication that Brosco and I needed to talk about what He was trying to achieve with the task and why I chose to disobey, so that He/we could then decide whether the task should be eliminated permanently, postponed until I was ready for it, or continued. That being said, I freely admit that Brosco and I have a D/S relationship with far more limited parameters than most others. He is not interested in controlling all aspects of my life. We aren't into punishment. We aren't into humiliation. He doesn't want me doing things to please him which totally turn me off and cause me to merely grit my teeth and bear it. However, His one area of focus is controlling my sexual pleasure - totally. So that is one area I can speak about from experience. I have a LOT of experience edging, being denied, cumming ONLY when allowed and playing ONLY when given permission. I have spent many hours on edge and have gone weeks without cumming. And I can honestly say that is the one area in which I have never disobeyed. Soo, at least for me, it never "just happens."

I have two theories as to why my opinion is so different from all the other subs who have disagreed with you Warbaby.
1.) only a very limited part of my day is controlled by Brosco - so I am not constantly being pushed to the brink of failure in order to prove my submission. Other Doms/subs are striving for a much wider amount of control, so the subs are pushed more to obey without question, which in my opinion, causes their subconscious minds to sometimes rebel.
2.) since Brosco isn't into punishment, he is probably more careful to assign tasks which won't cause me to fail. In addition, I get no thrill from being punished. I am an over-achiever by nature and get a high from overcoming a challenge. I agree with you Warbaby, that some subs enjoy the feeling of being controlled which is achieved when they are punished. Thus, even though they don't consciously want to disappointed their Doms, subconsciously they are choosing a double reward when they disobey of 1) immediate gratification and 2) feeling their Dom's total control over them while they are being punished. (and some get a third reward of feeling humiliated when being punished).
3.) I am a person with a lot of self-control in most areas of my life. One of the things which attracts me to D/S is the pleasure of relinquishing that control in one area of my life - it is sooo utterly relaxing for me. In contrast, many subs comment that they are attracted to D/S because they have been lacking self-discipline and need the external control of the Dom in their lives. Thus I am merely turning over control of my self to Brosco; whereas, some other subs have to first develop control over themselves so that they can then give that control to their Doms. That is a much harder task, and is likely to result in more failures. For these subs, I think it is not so much that they decided to disobey, as it is they haven't yet developed enough self-control.

There you have it - my analysis and theories of sub "failure." Please understand my theories of other subs' motivations are my theories only, but I hope you don't mind my sharing them, as analyzing/theorizing about people and their motivations is one of my favorite things to do. One thing I want to emphasize is that I don't see subs who disobey/fail in their tasks as being "bad" subs. Most are far better (more submissive) than I. However, there is something to be learned from analyzing our failures, so it is a valid inquiry to make rather than saying subs aren't perfect and failure "just happens". Of course each individual's motivations are different, so these are only a few possibilities.

fantassy