What did you think of the story title and blurb? Did it tell you enough to pique your interest and want to read more?

The title was humdrum, but titles don't matter that much to me usually- they are not what attracts me to any story. The little blurb did not interest me. I read it because of this post.

The first few lines (paragraph) are vital to any story. Did this one "hook" you and make you want to keep reading?

Yes, the references to her past failed relationships and the fact this one was her dream relationship made me curious. Of course, and this is just me, lol, the word "Master" kind of gets me going too. lol

Did this story contain enough detail about the characters looked like, for all you perverts out there, or would you have like more?

I think it was fine. I agree with EB that the weight on describing the sub more than the Dom was appropriate for the story content. Since it is written from her persp, I understood that she loves him for how he treats her, who he is, not what he looks like- that that is not important to her.

About the other characters, actually I did get a kick out of the "Pig Man" nickname. To me, this showed how, although she is submissive and obedient to her master or any master he orders, she still is assertive enough (even if in her inner self) to call someone, a master, a name like that.

Were you able to clearly visualise what the characters were doing and what was happening?

Yes, pretty well. I think Tom clearly describes the scenes.

The story contains no personal nouns. Did the use of "he" and "she" distance you from the characters, or did you feel it enhanced their sexuality?

The omission of names is actually something I usually like. I do feel that it enhances the sexuality- i saw "her" as his slave; likewise i saw "him" as her master. For me, the lack of names strengthened their roles. I did not even think about it till i read this question.

Did the author succeed in creating a strong feeling of dominance and submission?

I believe so. I think someone here said physically but not emotionally. I disagree completely. By not generally informing her of their plans and what she would be required to do, by humiliating her, calling her names, having her eat from the dog bowl at his feet with his spit in it or someone else's cum, having her get f***ed before she got to eat her nasty breakfast, and many other things, I felt the nonphysical domination very intensely. Best of all was the day of their trip to France! Her submission was turned upside-down, confusing and distressing her to end; she had to make requests to be submissive according to her definition, not initially realizing that submission takes any form of obedience to the one she served, only to finally get to return to her routine way of living in the hotel.

One reviewer says it let him/her "felting flat". Why do you think this may have been?

At times, i felt flat also. As i said in my review, I think it is because of the rough changes of pace- sometimes it was fast and the character's minds and emotions seemed left by the wayside. other times, the introspection or simply the descriptions of her thoughts slowed things down- which is good, however, overall, it was sometimes difficult to move back and forth between these two forms.

Finally, Tom's received good scores for this piece so far, but he's still chasing that illusive ten out of ten. So, if you could give him just one piece of advice, to improve his writing, what would it be?

Tom, you've already mentioned the language issue- it is, to me, clearly not written by a native speaker. Now, that is not a bad thing, but I think some extra proofreading would be in order- and you can feel free to pm me or email me- I love editing and revising technical errors. (although H dean's mentioned i used too many hyphens in my story, which i'm working on, but other than that, i think do pretty ok.) Oh, also, that font was a little hard on my eyes.

Secondly, some evening out of the story's flow would improve the story. I also think some imagery would add to the writing.

But, overall, thanks for a great story, Tom! And I didn't mention it here or in the review, but it had some very HOT parts. I just try to stay away from including that in my assessment, so that i dont' judge based on personal preference of content.

May I ask, how close to home is this story for you? I know you mentioned the sub being based on your own personal ex's, but it wasn't clear how much.