Aloha and so many thanks,
as I said I knew it wasn't just spot on. My grammer is okay but certainly not up to standard and I thank you for your comments. I will sudy some basic grammer for future.
I found the passages you highlighted difficult and when I write I usually can tell, grammer aside if it is okay or not. I liked the idea for the telling of the tale but it just didn't quite come off this time.
I will strive to do better.
I realy do appreciate the time you took.
Once more I kiss your hand and remain your humble servant.
Dog xx