Azrael, I'm not a Master/Mistress either, but I wonder if a PM to Sir Russell, to let him know this thread is here, might help. He is a very thoughtful person, and experienced dom, and seems always to have intelligent insight into issues. My own instinct is - no, don't give up on it: you just need to find a way through. Perhaps you need more patience: if you truly wish to own someone, i.e. for them to be your complete slave, with total power exchange, then I think that would take a long, gentle, communicative time to get to: they would be giving you everything. And however much they may want to, it still takes a huge amount of trust and courage to get there, I think. You can't push it - and you cannot expect all subs to be capable of it, or even to want it.