So long but not Goodbye

[Flaming_Redhead]

I wasn't going to make another post since the other was challenged and, therefore, deleted. I am still unsure as to what that was about. I have had this entire situation put into perspective for me by one very intelligent man. In the scheme of things, this place/situation is not what is most important in my life. I will not let it ruin my happiness or the happiness of others in my life anymore. Having said that, I will share my opinion on why chat bans are such a volatile subject. People have to deal with a lot of things in their lives. They look for ways to let off steam. One of those ways is to connect with other people with similar interests. Friendships are formed. There are many reasons why people can't connect as well in real life as they can online. Some live in remote areas. Some have many job/family responsibilities that don't leave them much time for socializing. Whatever the reason, they wind up in the chat room. Once they have found a place they are comfortable with, anything that disturbs their little corner of heaven tends to touch something deep inside. They come here to get away from stress. Imagine that you are an avid fisherman. You haven't been able to get away to go fishing in your favorite spot for months. Finally, you've had all you can stand of life, so you grab your fishing pole and head to the pond. When you get there, you discover all the laws about fishing have changed. Not only that, but someone is littering all over the place. There's hardly any fish left. It's kind of like that, only I've been watching it as it happens. It's impossible to give specific examples of rudeness without "flaming." I have had nasty comments directed toward me. I have witnessed rudeness to newbies who ask questions. Granted, it was funny the first time, and I laughed so hard I thought I was going to get a hernia. I have witnessed rudeness by supposed Dommes/Doms to subs where someone comes in and just dumps everyone off the couch because She was in a bad mood or because He just likes to make rude comments. Some people are warned while others get away with it. There appears to be no consistency or objectivity. You will and should get banned for going into the room and being hostile and vulgar to others, repeatedly. I remember how it used to be handled. A person was whispered to calm down. If they continued ranting, they were warned. If they still persisted, they were frozen. The ban was the last resort. I have never gone into the chat and cussed anyone out, made terroristic threats, etc. You can't discuss the problems with the chat in chat as a group for fear of getting banned. I certainly didn't think the forums were the correct place since they are separate. I chose to visit the friends who left and found a new room. We were happily venting amongst ourselves. Over the past month or so, I had pretty much stopped hanging out in this chat. It had nothing at all to do with taking anybody's side. If that were the case, I would've quit coming as soon as the first ban occurred. I got busy in real life. I made a couple of new friends. With what I perceive as inequality (demand for respect while showing little or none) appearing more and more in chat and less people I knew in there, it lost its appeal for me. I am not the first person to jump onto any bandwagon. I like to make my own decisions, not play follow the leader. I have not nor do I intend to ask anyone to follow me. I don't tell my friends who they can and can't talk to. They know how to reach me when they have time and something to say. I will find other ways of diverting my mind away from my worries which involve less drama. And to quote one of my favorite movies of all time....that's all I'm gonna say about THAT.