Well, I personally have no issues with initiating. After all, a relationship is made up of two people. The ideal is to have a dynamic in place where you know each other well enough to be able to pick up on cues without actually having to say "please whip me".

Initiating a scene to me, could mean something as simple as an aggressive or sexual kiss, perhaps a grope. Or if you don't want sex, then perhaps just setting out the toys to make them think about using them. And there's always less subtle approaches like serving him dinner with the flogger plate-side.

Although I have no issues with initiating, I will rarely ever say something like "I need to be whipped/fucked/tortured" etc. It's just not my style. Well unless push comes to shove and the guy is dense as a brick. But then I try to avoid those types. I have many levels of subtleties and a man that can't pick up on subtleties has no business being with me. Nor I with him. That is unless we both want to beat our heads against walls.

In the long run though, like I said, it takes two to tango. A relationship does not just consist of one person. And people aren't perfect. So you have to communicate and find the balance that works. Just because a dominant is a dominant doesn't always mean he calls the shots. That is unless, you're just going along for the ride as a submissive.

Being in a relationship means communicating our needs. And if the submissive needs some attention, then in my opinion, she needs to be able to step up to the plate.

Or face the very real probability of wallowing in her own frustration because she hasn't let her needs be known.

(Pardon the dom=he and sub=she thing, but I'm a gal and I'm writing from my perspective. A straight submissive female.)