DK while I agree with most of what you are saying. She has not said any thing about physical abuse. So far it is only emotional abuse. While that is bad enough. I don"t know if that in its self is call for full seperation, It may.

She may have a need for the humiliation that comes from this kind relationship. She has been with him for 6 years.

What concerns me that she is "afriad of him"

If you are afraid of him that is couse to be concernd. Any kind of relationship should be a 2 way street. It should not be a my way or the high way thing.

But if it has not become physicaly abusive then consuling might help.
The DS should end until he can respect you and your limets.