Hi demurelyyour,
I'm a newbie like you, and I went and got the story, and ------------I loved it--------------
I'm not a writer, so I'm not going to pretend to be a critic, and I'll restrict myself to just "Liked it","Didn't it", and you came out former rather than latter. What I especially liked was the creative way you characterize moan, groans, and speaking with a gag in your mouth. I laughed when I read them..........
PPPS. I hope that story didn't follow the reality that closely.
I was a long time in the scene, and nobody I knew would have done what your heroine did.
Thanks again, demurely, for an enjoyable read