Hi twilight,
i am sorry you have had such a bad start,it takes a lot of courage to start down this path of discovery,so please do not let this experience stop you.
Have you given any thought in takeing part in the submissive task forum it is a safe and creative forum were you set the pace for your self and you can say no to assignments and task i have found it a great place to learn more about myself and what it means to be a submissive this may be a good place for you to start from,good luck,
sarah