Being a bit kinky is normal. Imposing your kink on others, however, is not. Enjoy your uniqueness and hope your SO can assist or at least not belittle you for it. Better yet, embrace it. Acting out your fantasies in a way that is not injurious can provide relief, excitement and inspiration. It CAN be difficult to give oneself permission. Just work on it. Guilt for no valid reason is corrosive to the mind and soul.