Fetishdj's point is very well taken "I've always gone with the feeling that BDSM is no different to a vanilla relationship in that there are different levels to progress through." It would apear that you are seeking someone who you feel you could give yourself to completely, mind and soul as well as body. This intense, loving commitment, is not easy to find no matter what terms you use to define the relationship--vanilla, D/s, bdsm, whatever. It seems to me that you are looking for a "soulmate," and that simple physical gratification is not sufficient. I wish you all luck in your search--when you find the right person, it will be incandescent.


Quote Originally Posted by sayuri
Those kind of feelings are very, very rare for me. Usually it's just me searching for something the other person don't have or don't want. That is actually one fundamental point in my crusade (melodrama intended ): I want to be able to feel what you described, and most of the Doms I've met are honestly not worth it.

Yes, I need a life partner I can love and show my devotion to, but I also expect him to do the same for me. I am a sub but not just a sub. I definitely need a Dom, but I want the person behind the dominance also.

Sigh.