Ick. Talk about codependant and a guilt-trip on top of that. :bigdump:

Anyone who "needs" someone in order to live really needs therapy, not a companion. They need to get their own crap straight before dragging someone else down with them. On top of that, you feel unfulfilled because you're in a vanilla relationship. Which sort of begs the questions: Why are you in a vanilla relationship in the first place if you know it's not going to satisfy you?

I think you need to think about what you want. What you really want. Then you need to decide if you're going to let this man's pathetic attempts at manipulation and guilt keep you in an unfulfilling, unsatisfying place. If you've already gone back to your old master and it's only six months into your realtionship, then what will you be doing in a year, or two, or five? You already know you need the BDSM aspect, and you already know that it satisfies some need in you, and you know you're going to "cheat" to have the BDSM in your life. So, what does that tell you?

I think you're headed down a rocky road, and I don't think you will be happy until you are in a more fulfilling relationship for you. I don't suggest running out and pouncing right into the next person's lap. Take your time, fix yourself first, and then look for something that you know will satisfy you in the long run.

Need more advice? Just ask.