This thread actually makes me feel a lot better about myself. Being submissive is important to my identity and the way I feel about my marriage. But today I was looking at a BDSM site with a friend and commenting that I don't know if I could do the things that, say, the Sex And Submission girls do -- I've never been caned or paddled (canes scare me a lot), I'm not very flexible, etc. My husband and I address and think of each other as Master and Pet, but we aren't having extreme kinky sex 24-7. It's good to know that people don't consider us posers or try-hards for that.