I just had a little flash of clarity. Maybe I'm the last one on the block but anyway. Nobody wants to be normal when it comes to sex. It's boring. We all think it's boring. We are all looking for that other person who is extra fun, vanilla or not.

The quintessential image of a person with "normal" sexual drives is asexual, right? Maybe this is a cultural thing for Sweden, but I doubt it.

The pressure on society isn't to conform to norms, but on the contrary. To sexually break them, but while at the same time having a surface of detached normality outward. We admire those who have the guts to work out others kinks. It's not hard. We all leave plenty of clues to be found. The reason why people want this is to strengthen the bond between lovers. They will always by default be a little bit special to each other.

The problem isn't that some are vanilla, while others are kinky, but that the scale has an endless amount of degrees. Being vanilla, in other words only means that you are less kinky than people you compare yourself to.

We've had endless debates within the party organising collective that I'm part of, regarding kinkiness. Some have left because they think being kinky is the norm. Having vanilla sex is today's perverts. And some because of the opposite; that people aren't kinky enough.

Does this make sense to anybody?