[This is a repost of something I wrote recently for the BDSM Library Academy]

There was a very funny Monty Python episode years ago with a sketch called "Let's Play Blackmail". Even though it was obviously intended to be funny, the whole concept of it was very arousing to me.

As a BDSM game, 'blackmail' sort of sat at the back of my mind but nobody I knew in the scene really talked about it much, with most discussions of pseudo-non-consensual BDSM games being about various types of rape fantasy. I know a few couples who have acted out rape fantasies, an example being a D/s couple who agreed in advance to act out a rape scene but then left the actual timing of that to the Dom. It was mildly arousing for me to think about this, but ultimately their stories of how much she fought (violently struggled, like it was for real) proved to be a big turn-off for me.

I like intellectual stimulation and so blackmail types of forced submission are much more appealing. As with rape fantasy, things that need to be done in order to establish some kind of 'consent' and limits without ruining the surprise can be problematic. My hubby and I, once we started talking seriously about trying something like this, came up with a way that enabled consent and negotiated limits to be defined without diminishing the surprise factor at all. This was done by way of a 'code word' -- similar to the way rape fantasies are sometimes acted out, but with a slight twist. To explain this, it's worth briefly mentioning the problem we encountered when we first tried to play the game.

The 'play' partner who had been chosen to participate was a friend of my husband (Mr X) and somebody I had once said was 'the last person in the world I'd like to know about my kinky side' -- hence, an ideal candidate to be the third party required in any blackmail scenario. The problem was this man wasn't in the scene, although he had one or two kinks of his own that he was open about -- foot fetish being one of them. The second problem was it was decided he should 'discover' this little secret of mine 'serendipitously'. In other words, it wasn't simply a case of my husband saying 'I"ll tell Mr X about you if you don't (whatever)." This is usually the way most blackmail stories unfold, but we thought it was a bit too blunt and unimaginative because the anticipation (the best part) could only be maintained as long as Mr X knew nothing at all.

What we decided to do was make the game a bit more interesting by slowly sending Mr X hints. This was done by firstly sending him an anonymous email containing a few small hints and clues about my identity and an invitation for him to 'play a game'. It should be noted at this stage that the act of pressing the 'send' button on that email (hubby made ME do it!) was incredibly arousing! But there was a problem. What we hadn't considered, and what ultimately happened (nothing) was Mr X, because he was completely in the dark as to what was happening, believed somebody was setting him up to commit a criminal offense. Real blackmail is, afterall, a crime in most places.

So here is how we got around it (when we played again about 12 months later with a different Mr X) We created a 'code word' and the first email included it but not much else, except that he was being invited to play a game and I was identified as being the person who would recognize that code. The code (I know it sounds silly, but it was chosen for a reason which I'll explain) was "Serendipity Says..." just like the children's game, Simon Says.

We chose 'serendipity' at the time for a number of reasons. The first was simply because the word itself goes a long way toward describing the nature of what blackmail games are all about -- "the act of making a fortuitous discovery" in this case, about me. The second was the fact it was a code that would be very unlikely to be accidentally mentioned in conversation and thus trigger the game without the full consent of all parties. A third reason was it could be given to any number of Mr Xs and meant I would be constantly attuned to anybody approaching me out of the blue and saying it. You'd be surprised how many times I actually heard the word 'serendipity' come up after that (on television, for example) *lol* The final reason was, if a stranger did approach me and use the code (and remember, they didn't know what the game was about at all at this stage, except it involved me and it was a bit of harmless fun), it was such an innocuous and silly little phrase that if I chose not to play with that person, it would be easy to laugh it off and the person who received the instruction didn't need to feel threatened or embarrassed at all.

I've only ever played this game with my husband calling the shots, so I can't say how effective it would be for anybody wanting to try it solo with a person of their choosing. For me, I think the thrill would be reduced if I was privvy to too much of the plotting detail once the game got underway, but who knows? Anyway, blackmail as a BDSM game is often thought of as 'edge play' in the same way as rape fantasy play but I wanted to share this idea because it shows how it can be more BDSM fringe fantasy fun than hardcore rape fantasy out there on the edge.

kinkabella