Hello DiscreetCharm and welcome to the forums.

You know what? Just as there is no black and white out there, merely millions of shades of grey, theres something i've begun to realise since i've started accepting that having a dominating partner in the bedroom turns me on. the lines between vanilla and bdsm are a little blurred. suddenly i can recall conversations with friends that make sense now... "vanilla" people supposedly living "normal, vanilla" lives who say they occasionaly like to spice up their lives a little with some play in the bedroom that includes tying one or the other up with scarves, tickling, using chocolate, teasing, rough talk, etc. i think the words bdsm would seem to some of them to be "extreme" as it would have to me a while ago.

i suppose there's many shades of grey in how people are in their relationships. theres supposedly vanilla relationships where theres abuse and things go really bad, i'm sure that exists in bdsm relationships as well. theres "vanilla" relationships where 2 people happily co-exist in roles they take on subtly without using termilnology to define them.

i think for me i realise that being a part of this forum and accepting my need for domination in some parts of my life is a part of saying that commonly accepted social norms merely suppress and limit peoples natural expression for some aspects of domination/submission to different degrees in their lives and relationships.

being here and accepting my needs is a step towards realising everyone has them, in different forms, different ways and i'm just lucky enough to realise i'm ok and normal, i'm just fine and everyone in some form or another, is like me!!!

does that make sense?