Dear diary,

What with Foot and Mouth disease and all sorts of horrible things around (except Stoat who has been finally put away for that nasty incident with the Chief Constable's secretary) I have deemed it necessary that we have a medical professional on hand. I have a first-class chap starting with us-I'm sure that he will be peering into the girl's...health.

He seems frightfully keen to examine them all REALLY thoroughly-what an enthusiastic addition to the staff. He will fit on in well.