Quote Originally Posted by Serenitypup View Post
Okay. Let's start off with some imagery to show something of how I'm feeling right now. Then I'll jump right into as many details as I feel up to sharing.

A pup limps in, tail between legs, teeth bared, growling. Her fur is matted and mussed, blood and mud in her fur. She wants none near her, growling deep. It's hard to tell whether she lays down or falls; either way, she is soon on her stomach, eyes shut. So very tired... Still she growls, not ready to let anyone near.

Just a brief description. Might be a touch over-dramatic. While I myself don't look that bad at all, it's about how I feel. Now on to the meat of the problem. I won't name names, but I will say that this is no one person's fault. If anything, the failing is just as much mine as anyone else's. Just trying to figure out where I stand and what I really want.

In the past, I've had some very unpleasant experiences due to immaturity/inexperience on my part as well as that of my partners at the time. Now, some of my old bad habits are re-surfacing, the type of things that-I admit-scared me off the first time. Of course, the first time, I knew afterwards that I was in a very abusive relationship. Not physically; it just didn't work emotionally. We wanted different things; I was doing a lot of giving and getting not much back in the long run. After we broke up, I took a step back, much as I am choosing to do now.

Since I am still very largely a novice when it comes to D/s, still trying to navigate these waters, I've opted to get out of the pool for a moment and view from the outside. Though others may not understand my reasoning, my point of view on this is very simple: I'm taking a necessary personal break to further educate myself. Next time I jump into the metaphorical pool, I want to do so with both feet and no doubt in my heart.

I know fear is normal. I know limits are normal. I know I've found a few Doms who understand this and understand that I need time to myself. I've found several who are very understanding and those, in my uneducated opinion, are True Doms. Am I right? *worried puppy whine*

This was nice and vague and babbly and relatively pointless. I guess I'm looking for support and opinions. Am I wasting my time? Is this a sign I should drop it all or am I being smart taking a time out for solo education? *puppy sigh*
It always saddens me to know that someone is hurt. I wish I could take away all the pain you feel. Taking a break is always a good thing under those circumstances, and any compassionate person would understand that.

Let me say that just because someone might not understand this at first, this does not make them a bad Dom, it might only make them human. In general, I would say this is a no brainer, but not knowing all the circumstances I will not state categorically that someone else is not a "real" Dom because he is having trouble accepting your need to step back for a bit.

Take your time, know yourself, and be true to that person. It will make you stronger in the long run.