it's not easy for a person who is submissive to be with a vanilla partner in away it's like the submissive one is missing a peice of themself but the fact that your partner is open to the lifestlye helps but it will be tough for you to get the play that you are seeking if she doesn't have the ability to Domme you you should talk to her and let her know how you feel about the need to be Dommed sometimes. here is a website that the twoof you can read about the subject of D/S.

Http://www..castlerealm.com