I first met Gary when I was seventeen and he started hanging out on our block with my friend Amy. Over time I came to know him as a tough, sadistic little prick with a sick sense of humor. I made it clear to him that I didn’t like him and didn’t want to hang out with him only for him to push me and say, “If you don’t like me then go home, what are you doing here?” I replied, that I lived on the block and that the people there were my friends first. The next day I was hanging on the corner waiting for my friend Amy when Gary approached. He surprised me with a blow to my stomach that caused me to double over in pain. I had never been hit by a boy before and was very frightened. “So you don’t like me, do you bitch, then go home, your not wanted here,” he said in a commanding voice. I don’t know what it was, but I found myself very frightened and wanting to please him so he wouldn’t hurt me. Something told me that he was capable of doing just about anything. “No, I didn’t mean it I really like you I just wanted your attention,” I said. From that moment on, I minded myself around Gary and didn’t do anything to make him mad at me. Obviously he knew I was afraid of him as he started doing little things that I hated only to make me submit to him.

It started when he reached over and pinched one of my breasts in front of the whole gang. I was totally humiliated but was afraid to say anything. Another time he took a thin branch from a long weed stripped off the leaves (making into a switch) and started whizzing it at my bottom. Each time he made contact I would jump and tell him to stop, only to have him laugh at me and do it again. In fact the rest of the gang, seeing my submissiveness, started getting into the act and doing a lot of the same things for a laugh. Each time Gary humiliated me he would say he was only joking and that I was his best friend. After a while he started inviting himself over to my house. Once he even closed the light on my grandmother while she was going down the stairs and I (being too afraid to tell him what I really thought) laughed with him. It got to the point that my parents started thinking that I was the troublemaker and Gary was the victim of my sense of humor.

Anyway, I had my first sexual (and sexually submissive) experience when Gary found out that my parents were going away for a week. He invited himself for a sleepover and I was frightened that he may try to rape me, but was afraid to tell him no. The evening started out innocent enough, with Gary and me in two separate beds in my finished basement, snacking and watching TV. After a little while Gary said he was bored and went into the other room and I heard him messing around in my mother’s storage trunk. “Michelle, come here I want to show you something,” Gary said. I went inside to find the big storage trunk open with my mother’s (and aunt’s) old lingerie taken out dropped into a pile on the floor. Gary picked up an old strapless corset with boned vertical ribs, a pair of blue sheer stockings, panties, and a slip. “Put these on for me,” Gary said. “Why?” I responded fearfully. “Because I’m bored, I won’t touch you, I just want to jerk off while your wearing this stuff,” Gary countered. “But I don’t want you to see me naked,” I said. “You can change in the other room, I’ll be waiting inside on the bed,” Gary said. I knew it was getting really weird, but I wanted Gary to think I liked him and found myself always bowing to his will. I took the lingerie and went in the spare room saying, “Promise you won’t look” and proceeded to change into the lingerie that Gary had picked out. I started with the panties and corset (both of which were tight as my mom was a