My situation is a bit different, but I will chime in on this one...well, just because. My husband is my Dom. We were young when we got together. Both of us had sexual experience but not so much in the BDSM aspect. Before when I "dated" I never really chased after a man...they chased after me. I never got dumped I was always the dumper not the dumpee. When I met Him, neither of us discussed the BDSM thing. I knew that I wanted a man who could accept that I was an independent young woman. He accepted it whole heartedly. It wasnt until after our relationship grew and we married that we began to explore the BDSM fellings we both admitted to having.
I am in total control in the day to day of things, but still make his coffee every day, cook his dinner, pack his lunches...I always have. Not because I felt the need to "impress" him, but because its just the nice thing to do.
Anyway...I guess what it is I am trying to say is this....I never have nor do I "dress up" to try and attract any man. If He requests that I wear a certain something I do, if he requests that I look a certain way..I do. Im not sure that even if I were single now I would pursue a Dom specifiaclly because they were a Dom. As a strong willed, woman who happens to be submissive I feel that just like the Nillas' I would be attracted to someone if they had the qualities I was looking for. I dont feel that it is quite so easy to generalize "the girl chases the guy," or the girl "hunts" for the Dom. Attraction is attraction and I think both parties involved often try and "gussy up" (my Gmas favorite saying)to impress or otherwise attract the other.
Just my 2 cents..