I have to agree with Oz on this one. You have clearly stated that you do not want a vanilla relationship. So what are you afraid you will scare away a vanilla relationship?

Prior to my current relationship I had virtually no BDSM experience. I must say that my sub did a great job of taking it slow, giving me clues and leading me to the point that I actually asked her if she was into this. We started slow had fun and one night she simply told me “you don’t have to be particularly gentle, I like it kinda rough”. You see she gave me a gift and Nelly bar the door…I had no idea what I was missing!

It took courage I completely understand your dilemma. If I would have reacted shocked or appalled it would have either been the end of the relationship or it would have forced her to compromise on something she needs…once you do that life becomes a lie.

Good luck, my guess there is a Dom in there you just need to let him out.