Hope it's okay for me to comment.

I have to agree with Ruby about smaller paragraphs. It's my bad habit, so I mention it as a reminder to myself more than anything.

Quote Originally Posted by ladychipmunk View Post
“Cum.” He stated simply in a deep gravelly voice. I burst into a million suns.
What a way to describe that. Brilliant!

A very descrptively rich story! And H-O-T!!!

tessa