This is judging from my own experience -- I may be very well wrong with generalising it, but I thought it might help nonetheless.

I had a vanilla relationship for 2.5 years. I did miss the kink, I knew I would miss it when I entered the relationship -- but it was big love, and I didn't care too much. It was like "well, nobody's perfect". I didn't want to get my hopes up that there might be more than that at first...and really, in the beginning I thought my being submissive didn't matter at all, I didn't think about it and was really quite happy in this relationship. However, the one who got my hopes up in the end was actually he. It was things like "I'm sexually very dominant" (which, I think, is rather explicit? I answered something like "Then you're going to have lots of fun with me" which pleased him no end -- as did all the other little things sub can do to hint more or less subtly). He liked to blindfold me, liked to hold me down, liked to bite -- and more and more often I just found myself submitting to him, you know...in a more or less subconscious way. Just like switching on to my sub-side. And that struck me as somewhat...unconsensual. So I began to hint harder. He stopped spanking me the day I told him I like it, other than in the "haha, funny funny" way. His reaction when I finally gathered my courage and told him upfront what I really, really like -- and I kept it sexually, today I think I want more than just the kink -- was awful. We were together for a long time then, and I thought that we trusted each other enough -- I didn't think it would be so much of a problem. I didn't expect him to do anything BDSM-related with me (unless he wanted to, of course), and I am absolutely sure that I did nothing to pressure him, or to imply that I wasn't happy with what we had. As said, I was prepared to be with this man for the rest of my life, vanilla or not. I just wanted to know, and wanted my, well, needs open on the table.

I don't think he ever looked at me the same way again. He claimed back then that he felt betrayed, like I had kept a big secret from him -- which, honestly, I haven't. I thought he knew, and before that I thought that it had no relevance. I was naive, maybe, and hadn't been in a vanilla relationship for many years -- and I'm not that old. I had no experience whatsoever in dealing with vanilla partners, and I'm not keen on having another go at it. On top of it, I was so desperately in love with this man. Who am I kidding. I still am.

I don't think that, in the end, this had anything to do with what happened afterwards -- namely this relationship not working out. It was just one more thing he could use to hurt me, and one more thing he could hide from. I am still absolutely sure that somewhere deep down in him there's a little, chained-up dom hiding and wanting to come out. I'm also absolutely sure that he won't let him out, just in the same way as he allows no other person in his life for long. He actually gave it all away. He said that why he would never, never, NEVEREVER do such a thing was not because he was afraid that something bad might happen to somebody else. He said he was afraid that he might actually like it, afraid of what it might bring out.

Anyway, why am I boring you with this story? This is just a really long-winded way of saying: sometimes dropping hints is not enough. Sometimes hints are just hints. And just because you have become absolutely convinced that he is dominant -- or a switch in your case -- does not mean that he will ever live on it. So, and please keep in mind that something really painful happened when I did it differently, my personal advice is to be open with him, no matter how hard it is. You don't have to put it like "And on Sundays, I like to be tied up and whipped until I bleed" (to put it exaggeratedly), but tell him what makes you tick, ask him what he thinks about it. Most vanillas -- god bless them -- react very positively to kind when you put it like it's the most natural thing in the world. And as long as you're not that deeply emotionally involved (I am assuming here, as I think this thing is still pretty recent -- if I'm wrong please disregard this) it won't hurt as much if he, well, reacts badly (although I don't think that chances for that are good). If you have all cards on the table, you can decide what you want to do. If there is potential for a BDSM relationship -- great. If not -- well, then at least you know and can move on if you don't want to have a vanilla relationship and stop wasting your time with a guy that might be lovely, cute and charming but simply not kinky enough to fit your need.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. I hope this is a little bit helpful, and of course wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do!