First steps

[Ozme52]

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and kind words.
I guess it is over already...sadly so because I will miss him but I found I was not into intense pain or it being so suddenly and intensely introduced.

One slave read me her contract many years ago and in this it stated "if she could not be everything he wished" then she must turn in her collar thus allowing him to seek someone who is.

I acted upon this, I would never be able to fulfill him or his needs so I withdrew from the running knowing this is him and what he wished. It would not be fair to pretend otherwise or lead him astray, nor would it be fair to myself either.

My fears were I did not know what I was doing or if I was harming myself by completing his task, especially after being bound in a certain way for a minimum of two hours each time.
My extremeties went numb to feeling...this bode a caution warning. He cannot see what I do, except my his instructions, nor does he see the result until the next day.

This fact coupled with my farewell to him and having absolutely no response afterward...leaving me feeling so much more alone.

Rigth now a once real life friend and I are arguing whether I should close my profile...he says no, I say yes, and we all know how stubborn I can be (he moved far away and was the one who in fact encouraged me to join the site and was on my friends list there (heh he wanted to interview everyone and is like a big brother to me)

Anyway, perhaps when my children are grown up I might try again.

~hugs~
echoes

So you learned something... but you are still swinging on that emotional pendulum. Do you really think if you let it simmer a while you won't want to chuck it all... and may still meet someone who will complement your needs.

I hope you stick around.

[jeanne]

So you learned something... but you are still swinging on that emotional pendulum. Do you really think if you let it simmer a while you won't want to chuck it all... and may still meet someone who will complement your needs.

I hope you stick around.

Ditto. Each word. Take the time to continue learning more about yourself, your submissiveness...and please don't leave! If this is truly who you are...you'll wish you hadn't. I use this site, not as a place to find a dominant, but as a place to get information, knowledge and support. The fact that I found the perfect One for me was a happy accident - and completely unexpected. I wasn't looking...