First thing I thought was 'wow, this is a damn hot story.' The way you conveyed the character of the first person through her dialogue was great, including the supporting cast members...right down to Doris, who was watching the Kawasaki.

Favorite lines

“He takes care of me so I don’t have to work.” She laughed. “I don’t know. He’s got hair on his chest.”

“Sister, so does Lassie.”

“Damn, Carla, that’s cold.”
HAHAHAHhahahha!


This isn't a big thing, but, transposing the last phrase sounds better to me.

I was only too willing to agree not to use any toys, this time at least. at least not this time.