First an apology and an offer to except any punishment he wants would be my advice. This allows him to see that he missed not an opportunity to punish you but that you felt you should have been punished for such actions.

I have been there more then once, busy in day to day issues and problems and missed the disrespectful act all together. I will rarely say okay wench here is your punishment then, that would only prove I was asleep at the switch. I will instead agree that it was behavior that will be punished in the future.

I will then also explain that punishment for it will not be what you want or find thrilling to think about. I think that is part of your problem here that you felt he would spank or flog you do something that seems to make you a little wet. Trust me when I say that a real Dom will make it hurt you in a way that will have you never want to do it again.

I use ever bit of knowledge about her and what she hates to find a suitable punishments. Think army for a minute cleaning the latrine with a tooth brush and an angry drill sargeant inspecting it all with a white glove. My way though is to watch her and keep telling her how and why this was wrong and how it hurt me.

I don't spank as a punishment, when she is new I use the crop for adjustments and trust me it is harder then she wants or can deal with at that point. The moment that she acts at all like there is any pleasure there the crop becomes another toy and the punishment become strictly mental.