Advice appreciated

[Euryleia]

Deigja, consider what Aussiegirl said about writing down your fantasies. If you don't want to do fiction, think about filling out a limit questionaire. There is an example here. This will give him a few more ideas of what you like/dislike without telling him exactly what to do.

When I was first learning to Domme, I was unsure about how far I could go and how hard I could push. I questioned if my partner really liked it or if she was just doing things to please me. Only once we built up trust, did I gain the confidence to give my partner exactly what both of us wanted.

You might want to also consider the traffic light idea of safewords. I use red, yellow, green. By having a 'slow down' word and not just a 'stop right now' will give you a break if things are going too fast. Having a 'keep going' word will give him a chance to check in without breaking the mood.

I can only the echo the other posters in telling you to be patient. You have been frustrated by the posers and wannabes in the past. Don't mess up what you have finally found by pushing him too hard. Be patient and you will be rewarded.

[Polaris]

I very much agree with what has been said already, so I'll refrain from repeating it all over again

When I first started out in the lifestyle (sounds strange to me, but will have to do) we were both brandnew, he a little more than me (insignificantly, really). We were vanilla, something happened (what -- don't ask me) -- and suddenly we weren't anymore. What I'm getting at is that in the beginning he was very careful with me, and very nervous to unintentionally do something I didn't enjoy etc. Giving positive feedback was really important. I did all the moaning and 'please more' stuff that has already been suggested, but I also made sure that he knew that I really enjoyed our activities a lot. I wrote little notes, saying things like "I loved it when you <insert activity of your choice here>", or similar. He liked that, I think, and he got bolder with time. Building trust works both ways. I believe it was easier for me -- I knew he loved me, and I knew that if I used my safeword he would stop right away. However, he had to trust me as well. He had to learn to trust me that I wouldn't run and shout "Police!" once the arousal wore off. He had to learn to trust me that I *would* use my safeword if I needed to. And oh, it was an exciting and very satisfying time -- I almost envy you a bit I'd say, enjoy and let things develop with time...and before long you'll most likely end up with a bit more than you bargained for (yes, they have a tendency to get MEAN once they know you like that)