"Anyway. This begs the question, in what way is a committed long term love affair/marriage different from a fling? Is it the mutual bank account, shared apartment, the commitment or is it something deeper? I personally can't think of anything. The things I still love about my current wife is the exact same things I got stuck for when we first met. I love her more, because the things I suspected of her proved to be true. But I still suspected it when we first met or I wouldn't have married her."

I think there is some practicality to the difference between a fling and long term love. I had a "fling" with a man I was friends with, but had no desire to ever marry and certainly didn't fall in love with. We had respect for each other, good chemistry, and had fun together as friends. However, there was enough difference in our day to day lives and goals that we both knew neither of us would be content living the day to day with each other.

On the other hand, like you and your wife, I think the love there is simply a confirmation of the things you suspected, as you said. I think the comfort in confirmation does strengthen the bond and deepen the love. The more intimately you know someone, the more texture there is to the relationship.

"Ok, now I get it. Thanks for explaining. I think we agree there. But could you fuck somebody with opinions you judge as stupid? I could and have."

They could have a couple opinions I deem stupid or silly, but I would still have to like and respect them overall. This could be a personal thing, as I know several people that have no problem ignoring the personality and mind if the physicality of their partner is attractive. I am more attracted to personality initially, then I start evaluation of body and physical attributes. That's not to say I don't ever see people without ever talking to them and think, "hey, that person is attractive/sexy," because that's the order of presentation of which I receive my criteria for evaluation, but you get the larger point.

"I don't understand what you mean with low values? But other wise I agree."

Low value of self, or esteem might be another way to put it. A simple example would be a woman that claims love for a man that abuses her, but still puts a roof over her head and "supports" her. Somewhere in her mind, she believes she must deserve or, at the very least, has to put up with the abuse for the level of love and support she does receive. I would wager to say her value of herself is not especially high, and thus she has chosen a man reflective of that. (And I know this example is dangerous semantic water in which to swim, so I will go ahead and remark right now that, yes, I know of many situations where the abusive aspect of a partner's personality was not revealed until later, and we can get into that if y'all want but it's a bit of a stretch for this thread.)